New here. Separated for 1 month, in a separate home. I suspected my husband was having an affair around our 25th anniversary. He had become very distant, angry and nonresponsive. I tried for months to figure out what was happening and he would just trump it up to work stress. We were self employed and working together. I had finally seen a text message that came across his phone early in the morning (from her) when he left his phone next to me. My suspicions were correct and I confronted him. He was shocked and said it was an emotional affair and that it would end. It didn't. I had caught him two more times (I realize I should have walked away). The last time was a planned weekend away. Side note, she was one of our family friends for nearly 20 years and a huge part of my children's lives. We all worked together, in our office. That was the beginning of the end. I could not handle seeing her and him every day, left our business and went back to my career. That was 3 months ago. He never wants to discuss us as he doesn't like those discussions. We have not yet divorced, separated only, nothing on paper. I am paying my living expenses, while he is paying for our kids college, our marital home and my vehicle payment. The income is heavily weighted in his favor (the business); however, he is also paying for our kids. He doesn't give me any extra money or emotional support. I am working on my emotional issues (outbursts if I drink and great sadness and loss). Understandably, we are probably never going to be able to repair the hurt we have both given to each other; however, I cannot figure out how to quit obsessing over him or find a way to move forward. Any ideas?
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