I am a retired military male. When I met my wife in 1999 we were both active duty. After we had our first child, I had to move to California but she soon followed after she got out of the Army. While I finished up the next 7 years to retire we talked briefly about her rejoining the military to finish up her time, 10 years. I was suggesting if anything, the Air Force or even the Coast Guard. When the time came for me to retire, the subject came up again but I wasn't for my wife rejoining the Army because I looked out at the big picture, deployments especially Army and Marine Corps.
Well bottomline, she's been back in the Army for 6 years now and is on her second deployment in 16 months. (see what I meant) Our kids are 9 and 15 and our son is a little withdrawn at times because of her absence. At times he dosen't want to communicate all his thoughts to me till after he skype with her from overseas. It hurts me because not only have I raised him from birth and always been here but the deployment stuff seems like it's hurting me emotionally also.
She seems to enjoy being gone and not having the responsibilities of being home and being the Mother of the household. Why do I say, because it seemed like such a drag for her to come home and cook because she may not like what I cook. But I try and who's doing all the cooking now, me!! She seems content to keep doing the deployment stuff and I don't know if this is what I want to keep doing, having my spouse continually going overseas. We've talked about it but she denies that her absence affects the kids emotionally. My daughter seems fine but my son misses her a lot and of course I do.
I definitely see the effects of not having a two parent home which is what we've always been. My hats off to single parents who do this on a regular basis. And to think there are many single parents right here at the base where we are stationed that do it all this time. If my wife were a true single parent with no one to depend on, I don't know if she would be so quick to want to go overseas.
I had a talk with her before she left about deployments and why I had my concerns. Funny thing is my son talks about joining the Air Force Academy but she's trying to stir him away and encouraging him to go to college. My wife didn't have to do this after being gone from the military for so long. I do what I can to support her and always ask how things are going and talk to her about her issues while over there. Sure would be nice if she asked me the same.
Maybe I'm just being selfish about the whole thing but I do know from the first deployment that I did not like not having my wife here to hold and to be passionate with. Just venting I guess! :smile2:
Sorry about the long post!
Well bottomline, she's been back in the Army for 6 years now and is on her second deployment in 16 months. (see what I meant) Our kids are 9 and 15 and our son is a little withdrawn at times because of her absence. At times he dosen't want to communicate all his thoughts to me till after he skype with her from overseas. It hurts me because not only have I raised him from birth and always been here but the deployment stuff seems like it's hurting me emotionally also.
She seems to enjoy being gone and not having the responsibilities of being home and being the Mother of the household. Why do I say, because it seemed like such a drag for her to come home and cook because she may not like what I cook. But I try and who's doing all the cooking now, me!! She seems content to keep doing the deployment stuff and I don't know if this is what I want to keep doing, having my spouse continually going overseas. We've talked about it but she denies that her absence affects the kids emotionally. My daughter seems fine but my son misses her a lot and of course I do.
I definitely see the effects of not having a two parent home which is what we've always been. My hats off to single parents who do this on a regular basis. And to think there are many single parents right here at the base where we are stationed that do it all this time. If my wife were a true single parent with no one to depend on, I don't know if she would be so quick to want to go overseas.
I had a talk with her before she left about deployments and why I had my concerns. Funny thing is my son talks about joining the Air Force Academy but she's trying to stir him away and encouraging him to go to college. My wife didn't have to do this after being gone from the military for so long. I do what I can to support her and always ask how things are going and talk to her about her issues while over there. Sure would be nice if she asked me the same.
Maybe I'm just being selfish about the whole thing but I do know from the first deployment that I did not like not having my wife here to hold and to be passionate with. Just venting I guess! :smile2:
Sorry about the long post!
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