Hi, wife separated after 8 years of marriage. She told me since a year ago she seriously considered divorce but because she did not have a full time job she waited....during this time she attended gym religiously and lost lots of weight and now look like barbie...
we have a 6 yr old daughter who spends 60% with her. Before separation she told me she is done with 99% of our marriage and she only gives 1% chance for reconcile. She also said during separation/having her time and space she will find out about it.
She sold our house and right away bought her townhouse and started her new life as single mother. she has a full time job with good income. she started to hang out with other divorced women and threw parties and seemed she is having fun and getting used to her new life style. she also changed the whole format of her facebook and no evidence of her past life/marriage. New haircut, new home, new person, new attitude,etc...and she got lots of comments how pretty she looks like and tones of attentions from her friends women and men...
After 4 weeks when I called her and asked about how things going and any updates about her feeling , here was her answer:
I am enjoying my new life and very happy. I never thought about you or miss you. Now I know I wasted 8 years of my life with you, if I knew i could be this much happier I would have done this move 8 years ago !
I am done with our marriage and it is over !
I moved on ! and you better move on and enjoy your new life and time with your daughter .
I called her older sister who divorced her husband afew months before our problem started, and asked her to talk to her sister to take it easy,but the sister reaction was: You better move on !
because she is not gonna come back !
Finally a few days later I called my ex/wife and asked to see her in person in a coffee shop.
In the coffee shop I told her:
As you know I love you and I believe if this is a real love, I would respect your decision and I let you go.
Then she said we better change the date of our separation to a year ago and that way we can get our divorce right away without wasting another year. Also asked me what would be my reaction if I see her with another man on the street?
My reply was:
I am happy to see you happy even without me or with other man. But regarding changing the date on the separation papers I refused and told her we keep it as is meaning in 11 months we can apply for divorce.
Any idea , how I should deal with her/situation/now and in future,etc....
Any hope at all for her in case changing her mind?maybe she needs more than one month for time and space,etc....
Thanks a lot!
Kevin
we have a 6 yr old daughter who spends 60% with her. Before separation she told me she is done with 99% of our marriage and she only gives 1% chance for reconcile. She also said during separation/having her time and space she will find out about it.
She sold our house and right away bought her townhouse and started her new life as single mother. she has a full time job with good income. she started to hang out with other divorced women and threw parties and seemed she is having fun and getting used to her new life style. she also changed the whole format of her facebook and no evidence of her past life/marriage. New haircut, new home, new person, new attitude,etc...and she got lots of comments how pretty she looks like and tones of attentions from her friends women and men...
After 4 weeks when I called her and asked about how things going and any updates about her feeling , here was her answer:
I am enjoying my new life and very happy. I never thought about you or miss you. Now I know I wasted 8 years of my life with you, if I knew i could be this much happier I would have done this move 8 years ago !
I am done with our marriage and it is over !
I moved on ! and you better move on and enjoy your new life and time with your daughter .
I called her older sister who divorced her husband afew months before our problem started, and asked her to talk to her sister to take it easy,but the sister reaction was: You better move on !
because she is not gonna come back !
Finally a few days later I called my ex/wife and asked to see her in person in a coffee shop.
In the coffee shop I told her:
As you know I love you and I believe if this is a real love, I would respect your decision and I let you go.
Then she said we better change the date of our separation to a year ago and that way we can get our divorce right away without wasting another year. Also asked me what would be my reaction if I see her with another man on the street?
My reply was:
I am happy to see you happy even without me or with other man. But regarding changing the date on the separation papers I refused and told her we keep it as is meaning in 11 months we can apply for divorce.
Any idea , how I should deal with her/situation/now and in future,etc....
Any hope at all for her in case changing her mind?maybe she needs more than one month for time and space,etc....
Thanks a lot!
Kevin
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