copying this from another thread. your thoughts?
what you guys are now saying is an RA.
there have been many people talking here about that in the past and the consensus is to take the high road and don't do it. and i would have agreed previously.
This thread, and others have made me re-think this position.
after being here a while, and seeing many BS's talk about the post Dday behavior of the WS...its readily apparent WS just simply don't get the magnitude of the pain and damage they casuse, even the remorseful ones.
i have had friends that went through infedility, and having never experienced it myself, was casual about the impact it had on them and could not relate to how deeply it affected them.
Then my Dday came...and suddenly i got it....how crushing, humiliating and utterly destructive it really is. to a WS, that has never been cheated on, there has to be an even higher level of disconnect as the selfishness that was in play for them to cheat in the first place, doesn't just go away.
The point is, only once you have that cold act heaped on you does anyone ever really come to know the pain and suffering that is created by it.
So I am now wondering if an RA is a useful and more productive tool to shock a WS spouse into the reality of what they have done, end the fog, and show them exactly what they have created and maybe then be humbled, empathetic and even more so stop the cheating cycle in their present or future relationships as they have experienced what it feels like.
what you guys are now saying is an RA.
there have been many people talking here about that in the past and the consensus is to take the high road and don't do it. and i would have agreed previously.
This thread, and others have made me re-think this position.
after being here a while, and seeing many BS's talk about the post Dday behavior of the WS...its readily apparent WS just simply don't get the magnitude of the pain and damage they casuse, even the remorseful ones.
i have had friends that went through infedility, and having never experienced it myself, was casual about the impact it had on them and could not relate to how deeply it affected them.
Then my Dday came...and suddenly i got it....how crushing, humiliating and utterly destructive it really is. to a WS, that has never been cheated on, there has to be an even higher level of disconnect as the selfishness that was in play for them to cheat in the first place, doesn't just go away.
The point is, only once you have that cold act heaped on you does anyone ever really come to know the pain and suffering that is created by it.
So I am now wondering if an RA is a useful and more productive tool to shock a WS spouse into the reality of what they have done, end the fog, and show them exactly what they have created and maybe then be humbled, empathetic and even more so stop the cheating cycle in their present or future relationships as they have experienced what it feels like.
Put the internet to work for you.
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