Hi, I really need some advice
My husband and I have been together 11 years and married for 8 of them. We've had ups and downs but it isn't the same, he says I've changed but I think he's changed. He has always been 'man' of the house, and I've been fine with that, but he has begun to go too far with it, like refusing me to go out with friends, telling me what to buy and what not to buy, I have to cook for him every night, granted he works full time and I am a stay at home mum, but he always used to do meals at weekends to give me a break, now he never does. He's also getting more irritable with me and it's getting out of control. We have tried talking it through several times but we come to a dead end, I've suggested counselling but he won't have it. I also suspect he's cheating which could be the reason for the attitude change, although I don't know that for certain. I suggested we try a trial separation as I need time to clear my head, but he won't accept that, so I said 'it's that or a divorce if you carry on like this'
Here's the problem, just before the wedding 8 years ago, his parents bought a house and furnished it telling us they were going to rent it out, but as a surprise they allowed us to live in it rent free. He has said if we separate or divorce I'll be on the streets and he'll keep the kids. I spoke to two solicitors about it and they both said as he is the biological father and has never been abusive to me or the kids he has the same entitlement to them as me, and as he would have a place to live which is their home, he would almost certainly get them if it went to court. As well as this, as the house and most of the furniture belongs to his parents, I would be entitled to none of it, only half the money we have, but since this suggestion he has transferred almost all the money to his parents account, which would leave me with a few hundred pounds at most, no furniture, no house and he'd have the kids.
I could go and live with my mum, but she lives in the north, over 5 hours away from us so I'd hardly ever see the kids and my sister could probably put me up for a few nights, but she's all full up room wise herself. I could live with my mum and apply for housing closer to the kids, but that could take years, especially if I have somewhere I can go. It seems I am backed into a corner, stay with him and be a slave or lose everything :(
My husband and I have been together 11 years and married for 8 of them. We've had ups and downs but it isn't the same, he says I've changed but I think he's changed. He has always been 'man' of the house, and I've been fine with that, but he has begun to go too far with it, like refusing me to go out with friends, telling me what to buy and what not to buy, I have to cook for him every night, granted he works full time and I am a stay at home mum, but he always used to do meals at weekends to give me a break, now he never does. He's also getting more irritable with me and it's getting out of control. We have tried talking it through several times but we come to a dead end, I've suggested counselling but he won't have it. I also suspect he's cheating which could be the reason for the attitude change, although I don't know that for certain. I suggested we try a trial separation as I need time to clear my head, but he won't accept that, so I said 'it's that or a divorce if you carry on like this'
Here's the problem, just before the wedding 8 years ago, his parents bought a house and furnished it telling us they were going to rent it out, but as a surprise they allowed us to live in it rent free. He has said if we separate or divorce I'll be on the streets and he'll keep the kids. I spoke to two solicitors about it and they both said as he is the biological father and has never been abusive to me or the kids he has the same entitlement to them as me, and as he would have a place to live which is their home, he would almost certainly get them if it went to court. As well as this, as the house and most of the furniture belongs to his parents, I would be entitled to none of it, only half the money we have, but since this suggestion he has transferred almost all the money to his parents account, which would leave me with a few hundred pounds at most, no furniture, no house and he'd have the kids.
I could go and live with my mum, but she lives in the north, over 5 hours away from us so I'd hardly ever see the kids and my sister could probably put me up for a few nights, but she's all full up room wise herself. I could live with my mum and apply for housing closer to the kids, but that could take years, especially if I have somewhere I can go. It seems I am backed into a corner, stay with him and be a slave or lose everything :(
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