Hi,
I'm a 26 yrs old, recently married woman. My husband is a software engineer and earning around 80K per yr. He grew up in a poor family but and he established himself with his family support - we are from India. He has been working for 8 yrs now - only one yr in USA, before that he was earning as per Indian marker standards - Around $15K. He loves his family too much and spent all of his money on his young brother's(2) study and building a house for the family. So in this process he has no saving or no investments. I didn't know this before marriage.
After the marriage, I had high expectations from him. I want him to give me 100% importance, but he still cares about his family and still spends money on his parents and brothers, which i hate. As per me now he should not try to give his family luxury any more and should spend on them in limits. And want him to save for our future. He give a 250$ phone to his brother which I didn't like, because he sud be saving instead of throwing his money in waste. He still says that he want to give his parents and brothers a good life and doesn't care what i say.
Apart from saving we are having a real good life. We have rented a nice apartment(1BHK) and a luxury car, meaning all the basic necessities including good cloths etc, in general a really good standard daily life. He loves me too and on this valentine he gave me a 2900$ diamond and after which he had no balance in any of his accounts- it was half on credit card.
Now the recent issue which forced me to write to this forum. We did some shopping yesterday and in the night we were just discussing about this. We spent like 200$ in the shopping - only cloths. I told him that I want to do shopping every week so that will be like 800-1000$ a month and that too through out the year and years to come --- ONLY ON CLOTHS. I just said this but I really didn't have any such intention. He told me that its unrealistic and I should not spend that much amount on cloths. I was deeply hurt when he said that this is unrealistic. So I told him that why he is worried now and why not when he was spending on his family. He is ready to spend all the salary on me but in return he want me not to ask about saving as both can't be done at the same time.
Now he thinks that for me the most important things is to fulfill my desires about luxuries life. I have remind hm in past that I have certain desire like diamond jewellery and wish to spend as much as i wish (no barring).
He argues that even if I had no intention of spending this much amount every month, just saying is enough. He says that he has no intention of starting an affair but even if he says he would after 10 yrs(no intention- just saying), I'll feel bad, which is true.
I'm confused and just want to know from you guys what you think about him and me as a person.
I'm a 26 yrs old, recently married woman. My husband is a software engineer and earning around 80K per yr. He grew up in a poor family but and he established himself with his family support - we are from India. He has been working for 8 yrs now - only one yr in USA, before that he was earning as per Indian marker standards - Around $15K. He loves his family too much and spent all of his money on his young brother's(2) study and building a house for the family. So in this process he has no saving or no investments. I didn't know this before marriage.
After the marriage, I had high expectations from him. I want him to give me 100% importance, but he still cares about his family and still spends money on his parents and brothers, which i hate. As per me now he should not try to give his family luxury any more and should spend on them in limits. And want him to save for our future. He give a 250$ phone to his brother which I didn't like, because he sud be saving instead of throwing his money in waste. He still says that he want to give his parents and brothers a good life and doesn't care what i say.
Apart from saving we are having a real good life. We have rented a nice apartment(1BHK) and a luxury car, meaning all the basic necessities including good cloths etc, in general a really good standard daily life. He loves me too and on this valentine he gave me a 2900$ diamond and after which he had no balance in any of his accounts- it was half on credit card.
Now the recent issue which forced me to write to this forum. We did some shopping yesterday and in the night we were just discussing about this. We spent like 200$ in the shopping - only cloths. I told him that I want to do shopping every week so that will be like 800-1000$ a month and that too through out the year and years to come --- ONLY ON CLOTHS. I just said this but I really didn't have any such intention. He told me that its unrealistic and I should not spend that much amount on cloths. I was deeply hurt when he said that this is unrealistic. So I told him that why he is worried now and why not when he was spending on his family. He is ready to spend all the salary on me but in return he want me not to ask about saving as both can't be done at the same time.
Now he thinks that for me the most important things is to fulfill my desires about luxuries life. I have remind hm in past that I have certain desire like diamond jewellery and wish to spend as much as i wish (no barring).
He argues that even if I had no intention of spending this much amount every month, just saying is enough. He says that he has no intention of starting an affair but even if he says he would after 10 yrs(no intention- just saying), I'll feel bad, which is true.
I'm confused and just want to know from you guys what you think about him and me as a person.
Put the internet to work for you.
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