It's getting harder and harder each day now and I don't know what to do. I love my girlfriend to pieces, it's coming up to two years and the first 18 months were incredible, she has depression and suffers with anxiety attacks frequently, I won't lie and say she's a gem she cheated on me at about 19 months the week of my birthday and kissed another lad. As any other boyfriend would be I was crushed and incredibly angry but I stayed with her. I struggled for a while, and it took Some time to try get my head round why she did it but being the person I am I forgave her and carried on as usual. Her having depression means she has a negative outlook on pretty much everything, I used to be a very positive person but I feel it's even ribbon off on me now. She has a really poor relationship with friends and family and is always arguing with them. She always tells me about what they've supposedly done and I have to listen to it and agree with her even though 90% of the time I don't agree with her. The past week it's just got worse and worse and she's been telling me she wants to kill herself and she doesn't want to be alive anymore. When I hear this it crushes me and I need to go see her so I'll leave my friends early and go see her and it's so frequent now I feel I'm losing my friendships with some of my closest and longest lasting friends.
Before me she had a bad relationship with a boyfriend who cheated several times and I know that still hurts her. I had another 2 year relationship with a girl who again had depression and eventually gained anorexia. I feel like it's me, what am I doing to these girls that's making them do this. I'm not being modest but I see myself as a very laid back guy who would do anything to make people happy. My current girlfriend needs help but refuses getting it. I sit with her for hours as she cries and it brings me to tears sometimes. More recently I've got more protective because of what happened and I feel I have a right to be.
honestly I love this girl to bits, she's my everything and if she didn't mean this much to me I would've left months ago but she means to much to me. I'm desperate for help and I'm desperate for her to be happy again. I don't want people to reply just saying leave her because I can't just do that, but I need help :(
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