My wife and I have been married for almost two years. We have been together, lived together, for almost five years now. She is a single child and I believe she was spoiled by her parents quite a lot when she was younger. She is an amazing human being, a strong woman with a beautiful soul. However, she has anger issues. She normally very sweet with me, but can also get extremely angry for many reasons. She basically has a lot of buttons you don't wanna press. She is kind of a perfectionist.
Anyways, the problem I have is that she is extremely jealous of my parents and siblings, with whom I have always maintained a close relationship. I have always been there for each and all of them unconditionally. During the last several years, they have even seen me as the moral leader of the family.
I treat my wife's parents like if they were mine. I pay for their plane tickets so that they come visit us, I take them on nice trips, I am loving to them, and I basically care about them sincerely, because they're nice persons and also because I know they are important to my wife. We live very far away from our families (in different continents), so I encourage my wife to talk to her parents often and to invite them over as much as practicable. In contrast, my wife basically insists that I should not help my parents or my siblings anymore, and she finds weird that I'm even interested on continue seeing them or talking to them, because in her view they are no longer my family. She feels uncomfortable and flustered whenever I talk to my parents (even when our chats last for about 15 to 20 minutes and we talk once or twice per month). She also feels extremely jealous whenever something good happens to my sisters or my brother. Basically, she thinks that something good that happ ens to them is a signal that we're not heading in the right direction. This frustrates me because I have never seen my family members as my competition. To the contrary, I have always cherish their successes sincerely (and I wanna continue doing that).
I am the most successful one of my siblings, professionally and academically speaking. I have had more money than any of my siblings at several stages, but there have been times when one or two have had a little more than me (we are in one of those times). Nevertheless, I also treat my wife very well, I cook for her her favorite dishes, take her on trips, maker her love, make her laugh, buy her nice clothes, etc. We spend a lot of quality time together.
My wife's mother is also a single child - and she also seems to get upset with her husband whenever he talks with his sisters or helps them.
Is it normal that my wife feels jealous of my family? How can I make her accept once and for all that my parents and siblings are important to me; and that I don't like being compared with anyone (let alone with the members of my family)? Am I doing something wrong?
Anyways, the problem I have is that she is extremely jealous of my parents and siblings, with whom I have always maintained a close relationship. I have always been there for each and all of them unconditionally. During the last several years, they have even seen me as the moral leader of the family.
I treat my wife's parents like if they were mine. I pay for their plane tickets so that they come visit us, I take them on nice trips, I am loving to them, and I basically care about them sincerely, because they're nice persons and also because I know they are important to my wife. We live very far away from our families (in different continents), so I encourage my wife to talk to her parents often and to invite them over as much as practicable. In contrast, my wife basically insists that I should not help my parents or my siblings anymore, and she finds weird that I'm even interested on continue seeing them or talking to them, because in her view they are no longer my family. She feels uncomfortable and flustered whenever I talk to my parents (even when our chats last for about 15 to 20 minutes and we talk once or twice per month). She also feels extremely jealous whenever something good happens to my sisters or my brother. Basically, she thinks that something good that happ ens to them is a signal that we're not heading in the right direction. This frustrates me because I have never seen my family members as my competition. To the contrary, I have always cherish their successes sincerely (and I wanna continue doing that).
I am the most successful one of my siblings, professionally and academically speaking. I have had more money than any of my siblings at several stages, but there have been times when one or two have had a little more than me (we are in one of those times). Nevertheless, I also treat my wife very well, I cook for her her favorite dishes, take her on trips, maker her love, make her laugh, buy her nice clothes, etc. We spend a lot of quality time together.
My wife's mother is also a single child - and she also seems to get upset with her husband whenever he talks with his sisters or helps them.
Is it normal that my wife feels jealous of my family? How can I make her accept once and for all that my parents and siblings are important to me; and that I don't like being compared with anyone (let alone with the members of my family)? Am I doing something wrong?
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