Married for 13 years together for 22 years...
Other than normal relationship issues, my wife and I have always got along fairly well over the years. The only issue has been sex.
Over the past 3 years, something has changed in me...I wanted more intimacy, romance, affection, passion, and sex...I've read so many books to reach that goal and other than brief moments of improvement, it falls back to what it was before...The final conclusion is that my wife and I have no romantic love for each other. There is nothing we can do to change that...Sex doesn't increase our love for each other or make each other feel more loved...Actually, most of the time we have sex, there is an emptiness feeling.
I know... Sex is the glue..blah blah blah.. For 17 or so years, it was almost sexless and it was kinda working...
When I take sex out of the equation, if I truly let go of that aspect of our marriage, I am at peace with our relationship... I enjoy her company and I enjoy doing the family things with our daughter...
I have outlets now with my hobbies and interests and I am developing friendships. Yes, even some female friends...its just taking a long time for that..
It doesn't matter to my wife if I develop female friendships...There is no romantic love between us...
I do know that I would miss my wife if we were to D... She is my life long friend...A D wouldn't improve my life,my wife's, or our daughter.
I don't want to bash my wife anymore or put blame on me or her...I am past all that...We are both adults...
I don't believe in fairy tale marriages... People change after marriage...TAM has taught me that...I don't think I will trust marriage again if We D...
So my question is...
For long term success, is companionship/friendship enough?
Other than normal relationship issues, my wife and I have always got along fairly well over the years. The only issue has been sex.
Over the past 3 years, something has changed in me...I wanted more intimacy, romance, affection, passion, and sex...I've read so many books to reach that goal and other than brief moments of improvement, it falls back to what it was before...The final conclusion is that my wife and I have no romantic love for each other. There is nothing we can do to change that...Sex doesn't increase our love for each other or make each other feel more loved...Actually, most of the time we have sex, there is an emptiness feeling.
I know... Sex is the glue..blah blah blah.. For 17 or so years, it was almost sexless and it was kinda working...
When I take sex out of the equation, if I truly let go of that aspect of our marriage, I am at peace with our relationship... I enjoy her company and I enjoy doing the family things with our daughter...
I have outlets now with my hobbies and interests and I am developing friendships. Yes, even some female friends...its just taking a long time for that..
It doesn't matter to my wife if I develop female friendships...There is no romantic love between us...
I do know that I would miss my wife if we were to D... She is my life long friend...A D wouldn't improve my life,my wife's, or our daughter.
I don't want to bash my wife anymore or put blame on me or her...I am past all that...We are both adults...
I don't believe in fairy tale marriages... People change after marriage...TAM has taught me that...I don't think I will trust marriage again if We D...
So my question is...
For long term success, is companionship/friendship enough?
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