Married for 16 years, separated for 6 months. I fought long and hard for my marriage. 2 1/2 years while my husband stayed an emotional zombie. Counseling, books, talking, the 180. Nothing woke him up. He was just there.
The pain I felt during this time was huge. I asked him to work on the marriage or leave. He refused to do either. After years of his indecision I asked him to leave so I could get on with my life and get to a healthy place. After a month of me asking him to leave he finally did. We have 2 teenage children. I had hoped that loosing his family the way it was would wake him up. It didn't.
I was heartbroken. I felt like I just wasn't worth it for him. After years of trying to love somebody who doesn't love you back, I was broken. No self esteem left. When he was gone I started working on my self and my own happiness. Had to for my children. After about 4 months of absolute misery I just stopped crying. I stopped caring whether he called or came to see the kids. Whether he talked to me. While I know I'll always love him I gave up the need to be with him. After about a month of feeling that way I met somebody else.
I've seen this person about 5 times. My husband found out by me. He asked me where I was going one night while he was with the kids and I don't lie to him. Now suddenly my husband says he woke up. He's always loved me. He wants to work on our marriage.
I feel like he just wants me because someone else does. The other man really isn't a factor in deciding for me. I enjoy his company can talk to him and laugh with him. Maybe at another time I'd be able to fall in love with him but right now I don't have any to give. That's the problem. I don't know if I have any to give my husband either. I have nothing left to give him.
Months ago I would have been thrilled my husband wanted to work on the marriage. Now I'm kind of angry. Why would it take another man to wake him up? Read my past posts and you'll see how desperate I once was. Do I really want to hand him my heart again?
The pain I felt during this time was huge. I asked him to work on the marriage or leave. He refused to do either. After years of his indecision I asked him to leave so I could get on with my life and get to a healthy place. After a month of me asking him to leave he finally did. We have 2 teenage children. I had hoped that loosing his family the way it was would wake him up. It didn't.
I was heartbroken. I felt like I just wasn't worth it for him. After years of trying to love somebody who doesn't love you back, I was broken. No self esteem left. When he was gone I started working on my self and my own happiness. Had to for my children. After about 4 months of absolute misery I just stopped crying. I stopped caring whether he called or came to see the kids. Whether he talked to me. While I know I'll always love him I gave up the need to be with him. After about a month of feeling that way I met somebody else.
I've seen this person about 5 times. My husband found out by me. He asked me where I was going one night while he was with the kids and I don't lie to him. Now suddenly my husband says he woke up. He's always loved me. He wants to work on our marriage.
I feel like he just wants me because someone else does. The other man really isn't a factor in deciding for me. I enjoy his company can talk to him and laugh with him. Maybe at another time I'd be able to fall in love with him but right now I don't have any to give. That's the problem. I don't know if I have any to give my husband either. I have nothing left to give him.
Months ago I would have been thrilled my husband wanted to work on the marriage. Now I'm kind of angry. Why would it take another man to wake him up? Read my past posts and you'll see how desperate I once was. Do I really want to hand him my heart again?
Put the internet to work for you.
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