Hi, I'm a functional mid-20s male with an active sexual life who just finished a master's degree in London (I felt this introduction was needed to give more context). There's a very singular situation with a girl, I was wondering if anyone here can have some insight into it. It's going to be a longish first post, sorry about that, feel free to skip and start the banter outright.
She studies at my undergrad institution back in my home country. When we met for the first time I felt she immediately got a crush on me, whereas I wasn't really attracted. As I got to know her more though I found out that she's an extremely driven, ambitious, intelligent girl and, as I heard through the grapevine, she can also be quite ruthless when someone gets in the way between her and her ambitions. Her combination of brains and drive and her being, fundamentally, a "bad girl" (if we wanna call her that) turn me on a lot. I never took any step cause she had a boyfriend at the time, but we met for coffee right before I left for London. There was a lot of chemistry and sexual tension, to the point of my feeling I was openly cheating on my then girlfriend, even though we hadn't even touched, so I left quite quickly before something actually happened, as it felt it was going that way.
I moved to London and we lost touch aside from a couple of FB messages. She then came there to do an internship and wanted to meet me, but we never met because I was under exams+I didn't really feel like it, for some reason I'd got over it, and I'd also broken up with my then GF so I was simply focusing on other things.
I thought she felt I had turned her down and she wouldn't talk to me anymore. Yet she messaged me again yesterday and I suddenly felt a great desire to see her again and, possibly, to celebrate the reunion by engaging in rough, wild sexual intercourse. In the span of a few messages she herself proposed to meet once we're both back home, and I agreed. She told me "if you're not leaving again soon, that is..." and I told her a couple of times that I really want to see her, which she seemed very very happy about. She proposed to have some wine and to update each other on our lives since we have a lot of catching up to do (where I come from drinking wine rather than cocktails as "drinks" is very common).
Issues: I can't be sure about it but she may like me romantically, whereas I have to confess I have mostly a great sexual attraction for her, but I'd never want any commitment. I don't see her as an object, it's the PERSON I am attracted to, I don't want to just bang her and never call her again, but I don't want any commitment either. I'm hoping she feels the same about me, especially cause she knows we don't even live in the same country. So I think that by having sex and then leaving (me for the UK, she for France where she lives) we'll finally do what I think we both have wanted to do for more than 1 year and go on with our lives. But I'm really afraid she may want more and that this will hurt her, which I'd never do. Thoughts?
She studies at my undergrad institution back in my home country. When we met for the first time I felt she immediately got a crush on me, whereas I wasn't really attracted. As I got to know her more though I found out that she's an extremely driven, ambitious, intelligent girl and, as I heard through the grapevine, she can also be quite ruthless when someone gets in the way between her and her ambitions. Her combination of brains and drive and her being, fundamentally, a "bad girl" (if we wanna call her that) turn me on a lot. I never took any step cause she had a boyfriend at the time, but we met for coffee right before I left for London. There was a lot of chemistry and sexual tension, to the point of my feeling I was openly cheating on my then girlfriend, even though we hadn't even touched, so I left quite quickly before something actually happened, as it felt it was going that way.
I moved to London and we lost touch aside from a couple of FB messages. She then came there to do an internship and wanted to meet me, but we never met because I was under exams+I didn't really feel like it, for some reason I'd got over it, and I'd also broken up with my then GF so I was simply focusing on other things.
I thought she felt I had turned her down and she wouldn't talk to me anymore. Yet she messaged me again yesterday and I suddenly felt a great desire to see her again and, possibly, to celebrate the reunion by engaging in rough, wild sexual intercourse. In the span of a few messages she herself proposed to meet once we're both back home, and I agreed. She told me "if you're not leaving again soon, that is..." and I told her a couple of times that I really want to see her, which she seemed very very happy about. She proposed to have some wine and to update each other on our lives since we have a lot of catching up to do (where I come from drinking wine rather than cocktails as "drinks" is very common).
Issues: I can't be sure about it but she may like me romantically, whereas I have to confess I have mostly a great sexual attraction for her, but I'd never want any commitment. I don't see her as an object, it's the PERSON I am attracted to, I don't want to just bang her and never call her again, but I don't want any commitment either. I'm hoping she feels the same about me, especially cause she knows we don't even live in the same country. So I think that by having sex and then leaving (me for the UK, she for France where she lives) we'll finally do what I think we both have wanted to do for more than 1 year and go on with our lives. But I'm really afraid she may want more and that this will hurt her, which I'd never do. Thoughts?
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