Hello guys!
Lately I been wanting to vent but don't really have friends or at least one that I would trust enough to know whats going on about my marriage. So I decided to post here! Sorry if this is a long post but I'll try to give you as much details as possible. I think it's the only good way to get an idea of what is really going on and give me the best advice possible.
I met my wife at a party about 4 years ago, we never talked or anything but she looked interested in me. The following day she added me on MySpace and we started talking. She was fun and we would talk on the phone and chat online almost daily. One night her and her friends invited me to go out with them, we only had one date and she was really crazy about me. She would say she had never felt like that about anyone else (she is my first gf, kiss, and everything) I told her i liked her to but I could see she was going to fast. She grew up alone with her mom and older brother, and never had the role of a dad. Her mom and brother are really emotionally constipated, they don't show emotions for NOTHING. She didn't have many friends either and was hooked on drugs (marijuana, pills etc). She was also psychologically damaged from previous relationships. She has wrist scars and scars on her hips and legs from her cutting herself.... You could say I felt pity in a way but I don't think that word describes what I feel for her. It's was a caring love and I wanted to help her out.
We went out for about 3 months and her mom kicked her out of the house because she found out we were going out...(mom was cool with us being friends) and the reason she was furious is because I'm Mexican...a good for nothing in her eyes. I was at work when she called me crying that she had nowhere to go. So I told her she could stay with me until we could figure things out, I felt responsible for what had happened to her and to me was the right choice to make at that time. She moved in everything was fine, her family was really mad at what she had done. They sent her letters saying of how she would be living in a trailer full of kids with no money at all, I was going to be the downfall of her life... We got married at 4 months into the relationship... that's when things went sour you could say.
The culture is definitely one of the issues we have I'm sure, I come from a tight family oriented background, unlike her it's perfectly normal to curse and yell back at her mom. She has a temper and would just curse at me if she felt I had done something that would bother her. I don't like being disrespected like that at all, but it's sad to say that I don't even mind it any more lol The fights got progressively worse and worse to the point of me and her getting physical. I never thought I would ever do such a thing as laying my hand on a woman :( up to this day I regret it and wish it would of never happened. We have split up 2 times for about 1-2 weeks and we end up discussing things and hoping to work things out.
The physical part has gotten better, i just walk away if i have to and rather not let it escalate, but that seems to bother her even more, a few days ago i walked away and she ended up breaking a window with a punch...
I feel like the longer the relationship goes the more i think it was a mistake and maybe i did the wrong thing by trying to help out... I been thinking of just going separate ways but every time i bring the subject up she puts the load on me and says well if that's what you want... Why can't she just acknowledge that we are more mad at each other than happy with each other! that would make things a lot easier for us...
Lately I been wanting to vent but don't really have friends or at least one that I would trust enough to know whats going on about my marriage. So I decided to post here! Sorry if this is a long post but I'll try to give you as much details as possible. I think it's the only good way to get an idea of what is really going on and give me the best advice possible.
I met my wife at a party about 4 years ago, we never talked or anything but she looked interested in me. The following day she added me on MySpace and we started talking. She was fun and we would talk on the phone and chat online almost daily. One night her and her friends invited me to go out with them, we only had one date and she was really crazy about me. She would say she had never felt like that about anyone else (she is my first gf, kiss, and everything) I told her i liked her to but I could see she was going to fast. She grew up alone with her mom and older brother, and never had the role of a dad. Her mom and brother are really emotionally constipated, they don't show emotions for NOTHING. She didn't have many friends either and was hooked on drugs (marijuana, pills etc). She was also psychologically damaged from previous relationships. She has wrist scars and scars on her hips and legs from her cutting herself.... You could say I felt pity in a way but I don't think that word describes what I feel for her. It's was a caring love and I wanted to help her out.
We went out for about 3 months and her mom kicked her out of the house because she found out we were going out...(mom was cool with us being friends) and the reason she was furious is because I'm Mexican...a good for nothing in her eyes. I was at work when she called me crying that she had nowhere to go. So I told her she could stay with me until we could figure things out, I felt responsible for what had happened to her and to me was the right choice to make at that time. She moved in everything was fine, her family was really mad at what she had done. They sent her letters saying of how she would be living in a trailer full of kids with no money at all, I was going to be the downfall of her life... We got married at 4 months into the relationship... that's when things went sour you could say.
The culture is definitely one of the issues we have I'm sure, I come from a tight family oriented background, unlike her it's perfectly normal to curse and yell back at her mom. She has a temper and would just curse at me if she felt I had done something that would bother her. I don't like being disrespected like that at all, but it's sad to say that I don't even mind it any more lol The fights got progressively worse and worse to the point of me and her getting physical. I never thought I would ever do such a thing as laying my hand on a woman :( up to this day I regret it and wish it would of never happened. We have split up 2 times for about 1-2 weeks and we end up discussing things and hoping to work things out.
The physical part has gotten better, i just walk away if i have to and rather not let it escalate, but that seems to bother her even more, a few days ago i walked away and she ended up breaking a window with a punch...
I feel like the longer the relationship goes the more i think it was a mistake and maybe i did the wrong thing by trying to help out... I been thinking of just going separate ways but every time i bring the subject up she puts the load on me and says well if that's what you want... Why can't she just acknowledge that we are more mad at each other than happy with each other! that would make things a lot easier for us...
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