I understand some dislike either the labels, or the theories or both. I don't mind them, since they are fairly easy to understand for me at least so I will run with them.
I was over alpha in some cases
I was under alpha in some areas
I was most definitely under beta in some cases
over alpha
Thought process "I'm a grown a$$ man that works hard and I am going to do whatever I want and not do whatever I don't want. I set my life up so I answered to no one blah blah blah "
under alpha
I improved my situation when I started taking better care of myself again physically, stylishly, emotionally, soulfully, etc. I was taking my good fortune for granted and slowed down the maintenance resting on laurels and it was starting to show wear
under beta
My wife's top love language is acts of service and they include both traditional gender roles and also being a team player on the rest.
My alpha/beta mix was off quite a bit. I fixed the mix. We are good now. I know where the trouble can come from so it is actively managed, tweaked, balanced.
My wife knows she can count on me and I give a $hit and that is what turns her on so we need it the way it is set up for it to work.
Another way of putting this is "I neglected my wife/took her for granted. I stopped that. I am now mindful/present/actively listening and adjusting the feedback loop instead of believing there is never room of improvement."
Some may disagree with my interpretation of alpha/beta up to some point but the just of it all is I found them helpful to sort thru the four areas of too alpha, not alpha enough, too beta and not beta enough.
In summary, I had to up some beta areas, tighten up on some alpha areas and chill out on other areas of alpha
Too much? :D
Hope this helps some readers put there trying to focus on a simplistic solution of amping up alpha only. It's a balance of the four and each of us needs tweaking in different of the four quadrants.
Does your mix need a spring cleaning and maintenance? Is it in tune with your wife's love languages?
I was over alpha in some cases
I was under alpha in some areas
I was most definitely under beta in some cases
over alpha
Thought process "I'm a grown a$$ man that works hard and I am going to do whatever I want and not do whatever I don't want. I set my life up so I answered to no one blah blah blah "
under alpha
I improved my situation when I started taking better care of myself again physically, stylishly, emotionally, soulfully, etc. I was taking my good fortune for granted and slowed down the maintenance resting on laurels and it was starting to show wear
under beta
My wife's top love language is acts of service and they include both traditional gender roles and also being a team player on the rest.
My alpha/beta mix was off quite a bit. I fixed the mix. We are good now. I know where the trouble can come from so it is actively managed, tweaked, balanced.
My wife knows she can count on me and I give a $hit and that is what turns her on so we need it the way it is set up for it to work.
Another way of putting this is "I neglected my wife/took her for granted. I stopped that. I am now mindful/present/actively listening and adjusting the feedback loop instead of believing there is never room of improvement."
Some may disagree with my interpretation of alpha/beta up to some point but the just of it all is I found them helpful to sort thru the four areas of too alpha, not alpha enough, too beta and not beta enough.
In summary, I had to up some beta areas, tighten up on some alpha areas and chill out on other areas of alpha
Too much? :D
Hope this helps some readers put there trying to focus on a simplistic solution of amping up alpha only. It's a balance of the four and each of us needs tweaking in different of the four quadrants.
Does your mix need a spring cleaning and maintenance? Is it in tune with your wife's love languages?
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