Ok - So I've got that gut feeling - and it's never been wrong when it counts in my life ever before... However, my exceptionally messed up resume from previous relationships and various infidelity's meant that a rather stock standard EA that occurred early in this relationship became the straw that broke the camels back...
Without going into details about the above, what I am trying to say is - there is a fair chance that I am hyperviginant and a little "paranoid" due to incidences in my past and that may be causing my normally solid gut instinct to be less dependable than it once was.
I'll give you the details and see what other rational people think!
So the EA that occurred back in 2011 was comparatively insignificant in the scheme of things when compared to other infidelities and unconventional relationship types that I have dealt with from my first relationship to the last preceding this one.
If you can imagine a world where a 6 month EA with a co-worker, 350+/- SMS's a month and all the fun that comes along with denial of that, deleted emails/sms/app chats etc being almost insignificant enough that it would basically not even rate on the "red flags or carefactor" scale, then you might get an idea of how messy my past before that was.
However, turns out we all have our breaking point and for me, the EA was finally it. Like many, I never got the real, independent solid proof hard evidence answers about what really occurred, left only with the word of a proven liar who had gone out of her way to cover the tracks and further destroy what remained, faster than .... i dunno... something really fkn' fast. Also with the expert ability of a forensic data recovery specialist being her particular skillset, you can imagine the difficulty one would face in attempting to piece any evidence together to fill the blanks.
Anyway - long story short, that left me pretty damaged and my ability to sort paranoia over genuine red flags was severely compromised for quite some time... but I do feel that it has finally made a pretty good recovery in the last 18 months... I stopped snooping, I stopped going to defcon 1 every time the slightest thing triggered me and I gave my new found hacking, encryption and forensic data recovery skills a rest... On that note though, if there is one thing that I am incredibly happy to take away from that, its gotta be the amazing skills in hacking and data recovery that I learnt through hours and hours and hours of relentlessly learning and applying that.
So here we are, 3 years into marriage, first child (4 months old), living the dream - all that's needed is a white picket fence out front and its all downhill from there... welcome to life as a family unit and goodbye living the dream without a care in the world....
Now... it might just be that she is making the most of maternity leave - which is fair enough... but my spidey senses are acting up again suddenly. The mobile phone is glued to her 24/7... she takes it everywhere with her and she is constantly messaging someone or flicking through facebook news feed. Half the problem is simply the inability to go 20mins without picking up her phone and fiddling with it - scrolling through complete rubbish like facebook news feed just out of habit all the time... messaging her friends right now and right then - rather than just wait till the 10min car ride to the shops or whatever is over so we can maybe have a conversation instead of googling lolcatz or her friends cousins brothers uncle's best mate's latest update comment that no one gives a **** about...
I have kept a constant check on the phone records for the last 8 weeks - no unknown number showing up regularly enough to warrant anything suspicious... the SMS's are all to known numbers and calls are not her style.... nothing showing up out of line there either though.
She has Whatsapp - I've spoofed the MAC address via terminal emulator and run it parallel to her ... nothing! I've pulled the whatsapp backup databases from her phone and run them through a PC based program that decrypts them and makes them viewable (Kind of like Sqlite DB)... no deleted conversations showing and no hidden contacts...
I can't see any apps with messaging/chat capability installed in Google Play and I can't see any major data use by apps unknown that may be hiding a chat/messaging function...
So... I'm sure most of you at this point would say "Yep... sounds like you've lost your marbles... she's not up to anything..." - But the phone use is excessive... even for her... I can't help but wonder if despite all my wisdom, I am missing something??? Does anyone know of any communications apps that are practical enough to communicate regularly and easily, yet appear as standard/common apps... or possibly apps that serve as another purpose/function for 90% of their design, but have a messaging/chat function built in with push messaging???
The other thing that has me adding weight to the possibility of there being something going on is the new found enthusiasm for always having some kind of outing, mothers group, lunch with friends, need to go for a walk around the shops or general engagement - basically every day. By all means, she's free to enjoy her life I aren't saying that should be restricted... but I am just wondering why a trip up to the local shopping centre that is 10mins away on a bad traffic day, to go to the post office - takes 1.5hrs.... or why she manages to take 4hrs walking around the same shops we have been to 100 times... or why she constantly has engagement after engagement with friends, ultimately filling most of the day... leaving the house round 10/11am and comming home at 4:30/5pm...
Like I said - I have gone through everything I can think of - I can't find anything amiss... but something don't feel right...
Thoughts???
(and "Yes, your crazy" is already known ;) hehehe)
Without going into details about the above, what I am trying to say is - there is a fair chance that I am hyperviginant and a little "paranoid" due to incidences in my past and that may be causing my normally solid gut instinct to be less dependable than it once was.
I'll give you the details and see what other rational people think!
So the EA that occurred back in 2011 was comparatively insignificant in the scheme of things when compared to other infidelities and unconventional relationship types that I have dealt with from my first relationship to the last preceding this one.
If you can imagine a world where a 6 month EA with a co-worker, 350+/- SMS's a month and all the fun that comes along with denial of that, deleted emails/sms/app chats etc being almost insignificant enough that it would basically not even rate on the "red flags or carefactor" scale, then you might get an idea of how messy my past before that was.
However, turns out we all have our breaking point and for me, the EA was finally it. Like many, I never got the real, independent solid proof hard evidence answers about what really occurred, left only with the word of a proven liar who had gone out of her way to cover the tracks and further destroy what remained, faster than .... i dunno... something really fkn' fast. Also with the expert ability of a forensic data recovery specialist being her particular skillset, you can imagine the difficulty one would face in attempting to piece any evidence together to fill the blanks.
Anyway - long story short, that left me pretty damaged and my ability to sort paranoia over genuine red flags was severely compromised for quite some time... but I do feel that it has finally made a pretty good recovery in the last 18 months... I stopped snooping, I stopped going to defcon 1 every time the slightest thing triggered me and I gave my new found hacking, encryption and forensic data recovery skills a rest... On that note though, if there is one thing that I am incredibly happy to take away from that, its gotta be the amazing skills in hacking and data recovery that I learnt through hours and hours and hours of relentlessly learning and applying that.
So here we are, 3 years into marriage, first child (4 months old), living the dream - all that's needed is a white picket fence out front and its all downhill from there... welcome to life as a family unit and goodbye living the dream without a care in the world....
Now... it might just be that she is making the most of maternity leave - which is fair enough... but my spidey senses are acting up again suddenly. The mobile phone is glued to her 24/7... she takes it everywhere with her and she is constantly messaging someone or flicking through facebook news feed. Half the problem is simply the inability to go 20mins without picking up her phone and fiddling with it - scrolling through complete rubbish like facebook news feed just out of habit all the time... messaging her friends right now and right then - rather than just wait till the 10min car ride to the shops or whatever is over so we can maybe have a conversation instead of googling lolcatz or her friends cousins brothers uncle's best mate's latest update comment that no one gives a **** about...
I have kept a constant check on the phone records for the last 8 weeks - no unknown number showing up regularly enough to warrant anything suspicious... the SMS's are all to known numbers and calls are not her style.... nothing showing up out of line there either though.
She has Whatsapp - I've spoofed the MAC address via terminal emulator and run it parallel to her ... nothing! I've pulled the whatsapp backup databases from her phone and run them through a PC based program that decrypts them and makes them viewable (Kind of like Sqlite DB)... no deleted conversations showing and no hidden contacts...
I can't see any apps with messaging/chat capability installed in Google Play and I can't see any major data use by apps unknown that may be hiding a chat/messaging function...
So... I'm sure most of you at this point would say "Yep... sounds like you've lost your marbles... she's not up to anything..." - But the phone use is excessive... even for her... I can't help but wonder if despite all my wisdom, I am missing something??? Does anyone know of any communications apps that are practical enough to communicate regularly and easily, yet appear as standard/common apps... or possibly apps that serve as another purpose/function for 90% of their design, but have a messaging/chat function built in with push messaging???
The other thing that has me adding weight to the possibility of there being something going on is the new found enthusiasm for always having some kind of outing, mothers group, lunch with friends, need to go for a walk around the shops or general engagement - basically every day. By all means, she's free to enjoy her life I aren't saying that should be restricted... but I am just wondering why a trip up to the local shopping centre that is 10mins away on a bad traffic day, to go to the post office - takes 1.5hrs.... or why she manages to take 4hrs walking around the same shops we have been to 100 times... or why she constantly has engagement after engagement with friends, ultimately filling most of the day... leaving the house round 10/11am and comming home at 4:30/5pm...
Like I said - I have gone through everything I can think of - I can't find anything amiss... but something don't feel right...
Thoughts???
(and "Yes, your crazy" is already known ;) hehehe)
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