My biggest question is does MC work? I have been told "It will work if you try at it." and "You'd be surprised the people you know that went through similar problems, and you'd never know it because they worked on their problems /MC"
I know you can't magically answer if it will work specifically for me. It's more a question about if it usually works if you participate in it? I feel like our issues are insurmountable since there never was a time it was right.
Some background info: I came clean about a 1/2 year long A to my wife and when she didn't ask for D, I did. She had no clue anything was wrong in our marriage. I have been unhappy and checked out of the marriage for awhile now and just getting by. I have come to realize that she is not the companion I want to go through life with. She is wonderful mother and makes honest attempts to be a wonderful wife, we just don't click and never really have. I have been convinced to start MC for the children. I broke it off with OW knowing that I couldn't work on marriage if that was still going on. I feel like people telling me to work on our marriage are essentially telling me to take this women I have nothing in common with (other than sharing kids) and make it work. As if the next random stranger you saw, you were told to make a happy lasting forever marriage with.
Does being convinced to do MC, and having serious doubts it will work hinder the whole MC? If it honestly somehow worked and we were to have a happy marriage I would be good with that. However I just have serious doubts that it can really work. If at one point I felt like she was the right companion during our marriage and we just temporarily lost that, I would feel more confident in MC. Honestly she never has been anything more than a women with similar religious beliefs to raise kids with. Outside of raising kids we have nothing in common.
Doesn't help I still think of OW 24/7.
We start MC today. I am a mix of hopeful and a mix of doubtful
I know you can't magically answer if it will work specifically for me. It's more a question about if it usually works if you participate in it? I feel like our issues are insurmountable since there never was a time it was right.
Some background info: I came clean about a 1/2 year long A to my wife and when she didn't ask for D, I did. She had no clue anything was wrong in our marriage. I have been unhappy and checked out of the marriage for awhile now and just getting by. I have come to realize that she is not the companion I want to go through life with. She is wonderful mother and makes honest attempts to be a wonderful wife, we just don't click and never really have. I have been convinced to start MC for the children. I broke it off with OW knowing that I couldn't work on marriage if that was still going on. I feel like people telling me to work on our marriage are essentially telling me to take this women I have nothing in common with (other than sharing kids) and make it work. As if the next random stranger you saw, you were told to make a happy lasting forever marriage with.
Does being convinced to do MC, and having serious doubts it will work hinder the whole MC? If it honestly somehow worked and we were to have a happy marriage I would be good with that. However I just have serious doubts that it can really work. If at one point I felt like she was the right companion during our marriage and we just temporarily lost that, I would feel more confident in MC. Honestly she never has been anything more than a women with similar religious beliefs to raise kids with. Outside of raising kids we have nothing in common.
Doesn't help I still think of OW 24/7.
We start MC today. I am a mix of hopeful and a mix of doubtful
Put the internet to work for you.
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