I live with my girlfriend and her 13 year old son. We're both in our late 30s and have been together for about six years, living together now for about four years.
The problem is that our apartment is too small. Her son has the main bedroom, and our bed is in a room that is supposed to be a winter garden. We've made it as nice as we can but it would be great to have a "proper" room and more space in the apartment for us all.
I've been looking now for a few months and am finding it hard to find somewhere that meet my girlfriends requirements. It has to be close to her sons school, and close to public transport so that she can get to work in the afternoon and the university she is currently doing a course to improve her career. If I were able to broaden the search I would find it easier but such a limited area is making it difficult. Also, she refuses to let me view an apartment on my own, so I need to arrange a time that suits her. This is difficult because she can only do weekends or after 1930 because of her work. Quite a few of the apartments I've contacted have a problem with that. This creates a bottleneck to viewing an apartment, along with the fact that it takes a while for her to look at the apartments I have "found" and submitted to the spreadsheet. I search every day for apartments and add them to the sheet for her to give me the green light to arrange a viewing.
Lately she has become increasingly angry with me, accusing me of spinning stories of wanting to move apartment when actually I'm happy with our current apartment. I've tried to convince her this is not the case but she continues to call me a liar. She also claims that I am not putting in enough energy to finding an apartment, and that this all proves I do not really love her, am not committed to the relationship, and want to keep the status quo as it gives me a easy way to leave if I become dissatisfied with the relationship. Again, this is not true and I have tried to convince her so.
My normal day is one where I get up around 0630, work, arrive home around 1800, give the apartment a hoover, tidy the mess from her son (and her), cook dinner, have dinner, help with cleaning dishes, do some ironing (most her sons), and then have another look for apartments. She doesn't seem to give me any slack for not finding one even though I'm trying. I am trying! She is getting increasingly angry, mean, unfair, accusing.
Even though I'm trying I am paranoid that I'm not trying hard enough and want to find a way to "try harder" to prove that "i am not lying" but it's not helping. When I explained the spreadsheet and showed her what I was doing, and that surely this shows I'm working on it, she accused me of creating the spreadsheet as a means of pretending to look for an apartment when I'm not interested.
Please help.
The problem is that our apartment is too small. Her son has the main bedroom, and our bed is in a room that is supposed to be a winter garden. We've made it as nice as we can but it would be great to have a "proper" room and more space in the apartment for us all.
I've been looking now for a few months and am finding it hard to find somewhere that meet my girlfriends requirements. It has to be close to her sons school, and close to public transport so that she can get to work in the afternoon and the university she is currently doing a course to improve her career. If I were able to broaden the search I would find it easier but such a limited area is making it difficult. Also, she refuses to let me view an apartment on my own, so I need to arrange a time that suits her. This is difficult because she can only do weekends or after 1930 because of her work. Quite a few of the apartments I've contacted have a problem with that. This creates a bottleneck to viewing an apartment, along with the fact that it takes a while for her to look at the apartments I have "found" and submitted to the spreadsheet. I search every day for apartments and add them to the sheet for her to give me the green light to arrange a viewing.
Lately she has become increasingly angry with me, accusing me of spinning stories of wanting to move apartment when actually I'm happy with our current apartment. I've tried to convince her this is not the case but she continues to call me a liar. She also claims that I am not putting in enough energy to finding an apartment, and that this all proves I do not really love her, am not committed to the relationship, and want to keep the status quo as it gives me a easy way to leave if I become dissatisfied with the relationship. Again, this is not true and I have tried to convince her so.
My normal day is one where I get up around 0630, work, arrive home around 1800, give the apartment a hoover, tidy the mess from her son (and her), cook dinner, have dinner, help with cleaning dishes, do some ironing (most her sons), and then have another look for apartments. She doesn't seem to give me any slack for not finding one even though I'm trying. I am trying! She is getting increasingly angry, mean, unfair, accusing.
Even though I'm trying I am paranoid that I'm not trying hard enough and want to find a way to "try harder" to prove that "i am not lying" but it's not helping. When I explained the spreadsheet and showed her what I was doing, and that surely this shows I'm working on it, she accused me of creating the spreadsheet as a means of pretending to look for an apartment when I'm not interested.
Please help.
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment