My husband, now out the military, has been lately a bit too consumed with his games. It saddens me to see him playing for 8+ hours a day. He has mental issues and PTSD, and now out of the army(an institutionalization system) he is having a rough time finding work.
I'm patient with him, my only issue is that I also was a former gaming addict myself. I use it as a way to escape and cope with my own mental issues. Eventually I got my life back on track, and now work freelance. It wasn't easy, but I had to force myself to get to where I'm at. And it worked, I'm happy doing my career.
My husband however, doesn't seem to like my suggestions to step up things up a little. He may get the occasional interview, but he doesn't prepare (dress up, get his hair cut and his beard trimmed) unless I press him or do it for him. He puts things off to the last minute, and his gaming addiction has gotten so bad that I have to do my work elsewhere or I'll get distracted by him talking to people on the mic. I've started to sleep in the car also so I can get some peace occasionally. When he does sleep he has a tendency to kick and move around because of his PTSD.
We are crammed in a small house, living with my parents temporarily until we adjust, and what was once my room has been taken over. It's a fight to get him out of it at times just to clean up. He often plays the victim, and I downright feel sorry for him at times. Not because of his situation. But because of his illnesses and his addiction.
Any way, I don't ask for much. Just for him to write down the companies he applying for so he has a better grasp of his life and job searching. For him to do a little research before he goes there also. To do follow ups as well. Also for during the week for him to go to bed at a good hour. When I asked him this he had a breakdown, saying the room is his safe place. I love him dearly, but to overcome his anxieties he has to at least try a little. Even if it's just 30 minutes a day him going in the backyard. Seems if his mind isn't distracted by mindless gaming he just cannot cope.
I had to also discourage him from trying to do weed. I told him most of the jobs he wants to apply for do drug testing. Also, he's a former alcoholic and his reasoning to do weed seemed to confirm he's looking for another way to cope with his anxieties instead of just trying to tackle them directly. No, dealing with anxiety is not easy. That's why I don't ask for much. But only way to somewhat overcome them is to at least try.
Any way, I need some suggestions. I don't want to completely cut off his games. I love games and still play occasionally, I love watching him play too. Nor do I want him to not do any thing he does not want to do. However, I do know addictions just don't magically get better, no matter how much you get of the substance. He has to try to cut back a little at a time.
TL/DR: All I want for him to do is try cutting back some of the games and focus on his career/himself more. Suggestions please?
I'm patient with him, my only issue is that I also was a former gaming addict myself. I use it as a way to escape and cope with my own mental issues. Eventually I got my life back on track, and now work freelance. It wasn't easy, but I had to force myself to get to where I'm at. And it worked, I'm happy doing my career.
My husband however, doesn't seem to like my suggestions to step up things up a little. He may get the occasional interview, but he doesn't prepare (dress up, get his hair cut and his beard trimmed) unless I press him or do it for him. He puts things off to the last minute, and his gaming addiction has gotten so bad that I have to do my work elsewhere or I'll get distracted by him talking to people on the mic. I've started to sleep in the car also so I can get some peace occasionally. When he does sleep he has a tendency to kick and move around because of his PTSD.
We are crammed in a small house, living with my parents temporarily until we adjust, and what was once my room has been taken over. It's a fight to get him out of it at times just to clean up. He often plays the victim, and I downright feel sorry for him at times. Not because of his situation. But because of his illnesses and his addiction.
Any way, I don't ask for much. Just for him to write down the companies he applying for so he has a better grasp of his life and job searching. For him to do a little research before he goes there also. To do follow ups as well. Also for during the week for him to go to bed at a good hour. When I asked him this he had a breakdown, saying the room is his safe place. I love him dearly, but to overcome his anxieties he has to at least try a little. Even if it's just 30 minutes a day him going in the backyard. Seems if his mind isn't distracted by mindless gaming he just cannot cope.
I had to also discourage him from trying to do weed. I told him most of the jobs he wants to apply for do drug testing. Also, he's a former alcoholic and his reasoning to do weed seemed to confirm he's looking for another way to cope with his anxieties instead of just trying to tackle them directly. No, dealing with anxiety is not easy. That's why I don't ask for much. But only way to somewhat overcome them is to at least try.
Any way, I need some suggestions. I don't want to completely cut off his games. I love games and still play occasionally, I love watching him play too. Nor do I want him to not do any thing he does not want to do. However, I do know addictions just don't magically get better, no matter how much you get of the substance. He has to try to cut back a little at a time.
TL/DR: All I want for him to do is try cutting back some of the games and focus on his career/himself more. Suggestions please?
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