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Changes after time

I would like to hear about how sex in your marriage changed over time and what you think caused those changes.

There is that term/joke that the BJ's end once you say I do.

My wife and I used to kiss, deeply and passionatly while we were dating, I really enjoyed that, we havent kissed in over a year besides a peck on the lips hello and goodbye.
I recently voiced how much I love kissing her beautiful lips and I do try but she doesnt
Kiss back, at least not in the way I would like.
I thought it might be my breath, I am very self aware and always maintain great hygeine, shower twice a day, brush after every meal, mornings, bedtime and right before sex.

I also have a very strong Anal fetish, love butt play and I am very gentle and respectful and non demanding.
It was almost always on the menu, at least once a week.
Now it has become a "reward" type of deal.
There is always a build up to it for good behavior on my part without a timeframe, meaning She offers it up but it doesnt really happen, because eventually I do or say something to piss her off and it gets cancelled.

And forget about oral....

I love my wife and have learned to no longer ask or expect the extras and be happy with what I get.
I dont mention it and I try to not resent her for it but Im sure I do on some level.

When we get along we have sex frequently, then we argue/disagree/fight and then its back to square one, we start all over again, sometimes it takes a week or 2 to get things back again.

We dont ever do make up sex..

It gets frustrating, I find it easier to masturbate than to try and fix things.

Thoughts? Experiences ?

Thanks
RG

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