No idea what to do

I've been married just over three years now and I do not love my husband and it keeps getting worse. I knew about a month before we were married that I did not want to proceeded with the marriage but I told myself I was just having cold feet and everything would be fine. On our ten day honeymoon we had sex one time and I even told him that I didn't want to be with him. Now three years later, I have told him over and over again that I am extremely unhappy and that if things don't change, Ill leave. He refuses to make any sort of effort to improve the marriage but claims he loves me more than anything. We have sex once every three or four months, it only happens after drinking and its terrible, I can't wait for it to be over. I feel nothing for him. I do not understand how he is content living this way!

Another big issue is that I feel like I can't tell anyone. My husband is a great guy to everyone else, my family loves him and I'm good at pretending like I love him. Not a single person has any idea how I really feel except for my husband. I feel like if he really loved me he would either change or just let me go and put me out of my misery! I wan't to be with someone I want and love and would really like to enjoy sex a few times before I die. I wish this could be my husband but more hope for this is lost every day. I feel like its a matter of time before I cheat on him and I just don't have the balls to leave him right now. I have quite a large family and there has not been a single divorce on either side. I do not want to be the big failure of the family.

Anyway, maybe just getting it out could help (doubtful) but if anyone has a similar story or any suggestions whatsoever, I am open to them.

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