I love my wife very much. She is a great friend and incredible mother. We have been married for 16 years and have generally been happy together. We both have been faithful and have always have been faithful. We are both 41. For about the last 9 years or so, I have become very health conscious. I eat right and exercise several times a week. My health and appearance has improved dramatically over the years. I am convinced I have found the fountain of youth.
Meanwhile, my wife has not jumped on this bandwagon. She had gotten along pretty well considering she doesn't eat real healthy or exercise at all. She never lost the baby fat from our 9 and 12 yo kids. She could lose 15-20 pounds but she isn't what any would call fat. In the last few years she has had issues with her back, digestive tract, always being tired, and frequent UTIs. Understandably, things happen as you age. Thing is, she does nothing to attempt to improve her situation. This has frustrated me because these issues often hold us back from enjoying time together. She often asks for my advice which I give and she then doesn't do. I have been patient with it for years.
I have always been very sexual and very attracted to my wife. I could never keep my hands off her. On the other hand, she has a low sex drive and rarely shows affection in any way. My advances are accepted probably about 1/3 tries. We had sex about 1-4/ week typically. Sometimes really good, other times just duty sex. Overall, we were enjoying ourselves although I would have preferred greater frequency.
A few months ago, we went on a family vacation. She had pretty nasty episodes with her back and a UTI during the trip. It really put a damper on everything. She was miserable (understandably). I tried to soldier on. I ended up getting really mad about her situation. Her health problems could very well be reversed through some preventative efforts on her part. She does nothing. She is quickly aging right in front of my eyes. I had always been attracted to her even if she didn't have the tight body of a 20yo. In that instant, she became an old woman to me. I feel age is a state of mind. I never viewed her as old. Her choosing to not beat back aging caused me to view her as an old woman and my attraction to her disappeared in almost an instant.
Now how do I come to terms with this? How do I accept that we are now going to become that old married couple with no spark and very little sex?
Meanwhile, my wife has not jumped on this bandwagon. She had gotten along pretty well considering she doesn't eat real healthy or exercise at all. She never lost the baby fat from our 9 and 12 yo kids. She could lose 15-20 pounds but she isn't what any would call fat. In the last few years she has had issues with her back, digestive tract, always being tired, and frequent UTIs. Understandably, things happen as you age. Thing is, she does nothing to attempt to improve her situation. This has frustrated me because these issues often hold us back from enjoying time together. She often asks for my advice which I give and she then doesn't do. I have been patient with it for years.
I have always been very sexual and very attracted to my wife. I could never keep my hands off her. On the other hand, she has a low sex drive and rarely shows affection in any way. My advances are accepted probably about 1/3 tries. We had sex about 1-4/ week typically. Sometimes really good, other times just duty sex. Overall, we were enjoying ourselves although I would have preferred greater frequency.
A few months ago, we went on a family vacation. She had pretty nasty episodes with her back and a UTI during the trip. It really put a damper on everything. She was miserable (understandably). I tried to soldier on. I ended up getting really mad about her situation. Her health problems could very well be reversed through some preventative efforts on her part. She does nothing. She is quickly aging right in front of my eyes. I had always been attracted to her even if she didn't have the tight body of a 20yo. In that instant, she became an old woman to me. I feel age is a state of mind. I never viewed her as old. Her choosing to not beat back aging caused me to view her as an old woman and my attraction to her disappeared in almost an instant.
Now how do I come to terms with this? How do I accept that we are now going to become that old married couple with no spark and very little sex?
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