I got married in 2004. It was an arranged marriage and we had a rocky start that is still a little crazy to this day.
My wife was forced into marriage by her parents.
I did not know this at that time. So we were more like friends than an actual couple for the first few years. I was in a lot of confusion because I had not signed up for this and I still carry resentment. Had IC last year and that helped me cope with my own feelings.
Despite getting back (IMHO) very little from my wife, I stuck around and I thought she fell in love with me. She assures me as such but given a very different of emotional and physical needs. I don't think she understands what she is talking about. She loves her husband who is a solid secure man. She does not really love me. I hope you are able to understand what I am saying.
We now have two kids.
While I am the sole breadwinner, my wife has a small independent source of income and also has my credit card. Something which has a good credit limit and I have never ever stopped her from spending on anything.
Yesterday while we were discussing about something the topic of gifts came up.If you were to open my wife's wardrobe they would find over 70% of the clothes in there were bought by me as surprise gifts. I get her everything from jewelry to even cosmetics and stuff. Not only do I buy her good stuff but she herself comments that she gets more compliments on the clothes I buy for her than the ones she buys herself.
Some 4 months after we got married, my wife bought some clothes for me. A couple of trousers and shirts.
At that time I did not take it well. Considering I was newly married to someone who clearly was not ready to be married to me, I took it as a very insulting move. That what I had was not good enough. I had told her clearly that this was bad and condescending on her part. One shirt or trouser would have been great. But attempting to change my wardrobe itself was not good. Having said that I still did accept the clothes and even used them.
She never got me another gift.
So yesterday when I told her that she has bought me nothing in over ten years. She reminded me of that 2004 incident.
What do I make of this?
My wife was forced into marriage by her parents.
I did not know this at that time. So we were more like friends than an actual couple for the first few years. I was in a lot of confusion because I had not signed up for this and I still carry resentment. Had IC last year and that helped me cope with my own feelings.
Despite getting back (IMHO) very little from my wife, I stuck around and I thought she fell in love with me. She assures me as such but given a very different of emotional and physical needs. I don't think she understands what she is talking about. She loves her husband who is a solid secure man. She does not really love me. I hope you are able to understand what I am saying.
We now have two kids.
While I am the sole breadwinner, my wife has a small independent source of income and also has my credit card. Something which has a good credit limit and I have never ever stopped her from spending on anything.
Yesterday while we were discussing about something the topic of gifts came up.If you were to open my wife's wardrobe they would find over 70% of the clothes in there were bought by me as surprise gifts. I get her everything from jewelry to even cosmetics and stuff. Not only do I buy her good stuff but she herself comments that she gets more compliments on the clothes I buy for her than the ones she buys herself.
Some 4 months after we got married, my wife bought some clothes for me. A couple of trousers and shirts.
At that time I did not take it well. Considering I was newly married to someone who clearly was not ready to be married to me, I took it as a very insulting move. That what I had was not good enough. I had told her clearly that this was bad and condescending on her part. One shirt or trouser would have been great. But attempting to change my wardrobe itself was not good. Having said that I still did accept the clothes and even used them.
She never got me another gift.
So yesterday when I told her that she has bought me nothing in over ten years. She reminded me of that 2004 incident.
What do I make of this?
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