I've been with my fiancé almost 2 years. Our frequency of sex has gradually declined. The first year it was several times a week. Then when I moved in after a year, it declined - now it probably is 1 a week, maybe 2x most. And most of those times I initiate! He is always into it and glad, but I just cant figure out if 1) he's gotten lazy and just likes me to initiate or 2) his drive has just decreased or 3) he just isn't that excited or aroused by me generally as in the beginning (in other words, Im not new and exciting).
When we do it, I think its great as far as we both are concerned.
I'm wondering should I stop initiating and give him the chance to, so to speak? I feel like the times I have tried that, he doesn't initiate and then I get bitter, so I just assume initiate and be in a good mood. But it makes me sad he doesn't have that "cant keep hands off" or "wanting to ravish me" mentality like he used to.
He is 45 btw. He says Im beautiful and I look the same as when we started dating, and our relationship is otherwise great - we don't argue and really enjoy spending time together.
We have been trying to conceive for almost a year now, and that did put some pressure on him in terms of "having to perform" at certain times, and often 2-3 days in a row, but HE insisted as he wants a child so bad.
I dunno what to do, like how can I get him to have that mad desire for me like he used to have? I read of men on here married 20 years still wanting to ravage their wives 2-3 x week and so depressed and hurt that their wives don't care. Why doesn he have that drive? Sometimes I'll walk around in my lingerie while getting dressed, and he like wont even notice or take his eyes up off the damn ipad.
Oh and Ive checked, he occasionally looks at porn - maybe 2-3 x month? Not excessive and he certainly isn't cheating that I know of, we're together all the time and he always is loving and affectionate and respectful, etc of me (we both are)
When we do it, I think its great as far as we both are concerned.
I'm wondering should I stop initiating and give him the chance to, so to speak? I feel like the times I have tried that, he doesn't initiate and then I get bitter, so I just assume initiate and be in a good mood. But it makes me sad he doesn't have that "cant keep hands off" or "wanting to ravish me" mentality like he used to.
He is 45 btw. He says Im beautiful and I look the same as when we started dating, and our relationship is otherwise great - we don't argue and really enjoy spending time together.
We have been trying to conceive for almost a year now, and that did put some pressure on him in terms of "having to perform" at certain times, and often 2-3 days in a row, but HE insisted as he wants a child so bad.
I dunno what to do, like how can I get him to have that mad desire for me like he used to have? I read of men on here married 20 years still wanting to ravage their wives 2-3 x week and so depressed and hurt that their wives don't care. Why doesn he have that drive? Sometimes I'll walk around in my lingerie while getting dressed, and he like wont even notice or take his eyes up off the damn ipad.
Oh and Ive checked, he occasionally looks at porn - maybe 2-3 x month? Not excessive and he certainly isn't cheating that I know of, we're together all the time and he always is loving and affectionate and respectful, etc of me (we both are)
Put the internet to work for you.
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