Hello everyone.
Not too long ago my husband told me that he's lost that feeling for me, that "in love" feeling. He says he loves me and cares for me but does not feel anything "special". We've been married for 13 yrs, hard times of course, but I never imagined we'd think about parting ways.
It's been a bumpy several weeks since he's announced his feelings and in those weeks he's been back and forth with how he feels.
One day he says he wants to try. Then the next he says he's given up.
I'm torn with how I feel. I love him of course and I told him I am willing to stand by him and support him so that we can get through this and work on a better future.
Yet he admitted (as of right now) he does not see a future for us. He talks about what will happen if we separate and how he will support me no matter what and be there for me and our kids, but he feels like he needs to start over and figure things out for himself.
I feel like he's letting me down gently, like softening the blow. He tells me I've been great to him all these years and that I deserve better than what he can give me. He's not ugly about this at all, in fact he's been more emotional lately than he's ever been in our 13 yrs of marriage. I've never seen him cry and show such raw emotion. He's opened up to me and we've been talking a lot more about our feelings. So I know this is hard for him as it is for me.
I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to stand up for myself, take my pride, and walk away. I wish I could hear him say he needs me and he can't imagine the future without me and that we can see this through no matter what. He even talks about how it will hurt when he knows I've moved on and found someone else…..it's like he's coming to terms with the fact and not fighting for me.
Then part of me wants to stand by him, be patient and perhaps hope that one day he'll come to his senses and realize what a good thing he has.
Anyone else have any experience or perhaps might know what's going on inside this brain of his??
I'm stuck in a position of holding on to him or learning to slowly let him go.
Also, due to our living situation (we are stationed overseas) we have mutually agreed to stick it out with the year we have left before we move because it's best for the kids and financially. So I'm hoping in a year things can change but it's very difficult to deal with all these mixed emotions.
Not too long ago my husband told me that he's lost that feeling for me, that "in love" feeling. He says he loves me and cares for me but does not feel anything "special". We've been married for 13 yrs, hard times of course, but I never imagined we'd think about parting ways.
It's been a bumpy several weeks since he's announced his feelings and in those weeks he's been back and forth with how he feels.
One day he says he wants to try. Then the next he says he's given up.
I'm torn with how I feel. I love him of course and I told him I am willing to stand by him and support him so that we can get through this and work on a better future.
Yet he admitted (as of right now) he does not see a future for us. He talks about what will happen if we separate and how he will support me no matter what and be there for me and our kids, but he feels like he needs to start over and figure things out for himself.
I feel like he's letting me down gently, like softening the blow. He tells me I've been great to him all these years and that I deserve better than what he can give me. He's not ugly about this at all, in fact he's been more emotional lately than he's ever been in our 13 yrs of marriage. I've never seen him cry and show such raw emotion. He's opened up to me and we've been talking a lot more about our feelings. So I know this is hard for him as it is for me.
I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to stand up for myself, take my pride, and walk away. I wish I could hear him say he needs me and he can't imagine the future without me and that we can see this through no matter what. He even talks about how it will hurt when he knows I've moved on and found someone else…..it's like he's coming to terms with the fact and not fighting for me.
Then part of me wants to stand by him, be patient and perhaps hope that one day he'll come to his senses and realize what a good thing he has.
Anyone else have any experience or perhaps might know what's going on inside this brain of his??
I'm stuck in a position of holding on to him or learning to slowly let him go.
Also, due to our living situation (we are stationed overseas) we have mutually agreed to stick it out with the year we have left before we move because it's best for the kids and financially. So I'm hoping in a year things can change but it's very difficult to deal with all these mixed emotions.
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