I've never posted here before but I hope someone can give me advice and that you are not offended by my posting because I am not married or even engaged.
I'm a 25 year old who has been dating an almost 24 year old guy for almost 3 years. We met in college but have been long distance for about two years. This is thousands of miles away long distance so definitely emphasis on the long. Things in our relationship are good and we love each other and are happy together. He is attentive and tries to do whatever he can do to make me happy. I do the same for him. I'm still head over heels for him. We visit regularly and I'm hoping to move closer to his location next year when I hopefully get into grad school. This makes sense because many of the schools I want to attend independent of him are relatively close to where he is. He cannot move because he is tied up in a 7 year PhD program.
Last night I asked him "Were do you see this relationship going?" and he said "I don't know."
This is what he has been saying from the beginning and it is frustrating to no end because I feel like he should know. I will admit that in the past he has said, "We'll make this work no matter where you end up for grad school because we have a strong relationship and making this work is worth it." However, he has never explicitly said where he wants to see this relationship go (I see it heading toward marriage) or what the "endgame" is in his mind. That's what I mean by he has said "I don't know" in the past.
I know he loves me and we talk about the future and when we as individuals get married in vague terms–not about the two of us specifically but just in general.
Last time I asked him about "where is this relationship going" around the 2 year mark he told me he wanted to wait until after the 3 year mark to talk about it. Before that before we started long distance he also said he didn't know where it was going but we were younger and hadn't been dating that long at that point so that was more acceptable than it is now.
I don't know what I should do at this point. I don't want to leave him but I also don't want to waste too much time if he's never going to see himself with me for the long haul. Leaving probably isn't an option right now because I just love him so darn much.
But does this mean he is not serious about the relationship or fully committed to me? I think he's committed, but maybe not serious about the relationship. What is a gal to do?!?
Thanks so much for reading and please be gentle with me. As I said I love this guy very, very much.
I'm a 25 year old who has been dating an almost 24 year old guy for almost 3 years. We met in college but have been long distance for about two years. This is thousands of miles away long distance so definitely emphasis on the long. Things in our relationship are good and we love each other and are happy together. He is attentive and tries to do whatever he can do to make me happy. I do the same for him. I'm still head over heels for him. We visit regularly and I'm hoping to move closer to his location next year when I hopefully get into grad school. This makes sense because many of the schools I want to attend independent of him are relatively close to where he is. He cannot move because he is tied up in a 7 year PhD program.
Last night I asked him "Were do you see this relationship going?" and he said "I don't know."
This is what he has been saying from the beginning and it is frustrating to no end because I feel like he should know. I will admit that in the past he has said, "We'll make this work no matter where you end up for grad school because we have a strong relationship and making this work is worth it." However, he has never explicitly said where he wants to see this relationship go (I see it heading toward marriage) or what the "endgame" is in his mind. That's what I mean by he has said "I don't know" in the past.
I know he loves me and we talk about the future and when we as individuals get married in vague terms–not about the two of us specifically but just in general.
Last time I asked him about "where is this relationship going" around the 2 year mark he told me he wanted to wait until after the 3 year mark to talk about it. Before that before we started long distance he also said he didn't know where it was going but we were younger and hadn't been dating that long at that point so that was more acceptable than it is now.
I don't know what I should do at this point. I don't want to leave him but I also don't want to waste too much time if he's never going to see himself with me for the long haul. Leaving probably isn't an option right now because I just love him so darn much.
But does this mean he is not serious about the relationship or fully committed to me? I think he's committed, but maybe not serious about the relationship. What is a gal to do?!?
Thanks so much for reading and please be gentle with me. As I said I love this guy very, very much.
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