Pros of staying married: it is comfortable (not in a good way but in a know what to expect way) , when think about seriously being on my own feel scared and anxious. Scared of what my family will think, my H is well liked so I could picture them thinking I am making a huge mistake.
Cons: not happy, have no romantic feelings for husband, no desire to work on marriage, feel depressed, unfocused, stressed. Am averaging about 4 hours of sleep per night. Feel like I am sinking into more of a deeper depression because I feel like crying about 50% of the time.
H is working two weeks on and two weeks off so currently he is home until next Wednesday. Yesterday I came home once again after work to find the lunch dishes still sitting in the sink/counter basically he did nothing from when I left home to go back to work after lunch to when I came home for the day, except for watch tv. I ended up cleaning up it took all of 10 minutes. Seriously he could not have done that for me. Then he gets mad that I am mad...holy **** who would not find that annoying.
My dad and his lady friend are coming up for the weekend so I am trying to keep it together as I don't want them feeling tension in the house. Have a final exam next Friday that I am not close to being prepared for, H is getting on my nerves, etc. etc.
I tend to be a wishy washy person when it comes to big decisions..I see this aspect of myself coming out in my marital issues. In the last 6 months when it looked like okay this was going to happen, he starts looking for a place, I start feeling panicky thinking maybe this is not the right decision. Then I try to tell myself that no I have to work on this marriage even though after the panic passes because well we will just continue to stay married, and I get comfortable again (unhappy but comfortable).
Can anybody relate to any of this?:(
Cons: not happy, have no romantic feelings for husband, no desire to work on marriage, feel depressed, unfocused, stressed. Am averaging about 4 hours of sleep per night. Feel like I am sinking into more of a deeper depression because I feel like crying about 50% of the time.
H is working two weeks on and two weeks off so currently he is home until next Wednesday. Yesterday I came home once again after work to find the lunch dishes still sitting in the sink/counter basically he did nothing from when I left home to go back to work after lunch to when I came home for the day, except for watch tv. I ended up cleaning up it took all of 10 minutes. Seriously he could not have done that for me. Then he gets mad that I am mad...holy **** who would not find that annoying.
My dad and his lady friend are coming up for the weekend so I am trying to keep it together as I don't want them feeling tension in the house. Have a final exam next Friday that I am not close to being prepared for, H is getting on my nerves, etc. etc.
I tend to be a wishy washy person when it comes to big decisions..I see this aspect of myself coming out in my marital issues. In the last 6 months when it looked like okay this was going to happen, he starts looking for a place, I start feeling panicky thinking maybe this is not the right decision. Then I try to tell myself that no I have to work on this marriage even though after the panic passes because well we will just continue to stay married, and I get comfortable again (unhappy but comfortable).
Can anybody relate to any of this?:(
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