I am new to this site, but I am need of advice/support.
Nearly 1 month ago I learned my wife had been having an affair with her coworker. I had suspicions so one morning before work I checked her phone and found some "I miss you, wish you were here" type texts. I confronted her and she admitted to the affair. She said it was over and she had already chosen to end it and move with me to our new home in a different town. I told her I forgive her and we will move on. She says she doesn't know if she loves me or not anymore but wishes to try to find love again save our marriage and keep our family together (we have 3 kids). It has been a rough month. I find less and less "triggers" that remind me of the affair and we are more or less happy most days. Sex life has improved, but is still not as frequent as I would like. She said she would not talk to him again but last week I found out he had texted her and they texted back and forth for a couple days. She vows it was friend type talk, "how are you doing? hows the new job?" type stuff b ut I know she had feelings for him and she has told me it is hard not talking to him when they had spent so much time together at work. I am really struggling to try to trust her again. I constantly find myself checking her phone, email, call logs, anything I can think of. I have also had her delete all pictures and everything to do with him from her facebook and computer. I feel so terrible constantly checking in on her and she is very annoyed that I do it. She acts like it never happened and I don't know if she is just way better at moving on or what? I guess what I would like advice on is how to know if she really is committed to saving this marriage and how I can go about putting this behind me without needing to constantly check up on her? Thank you in advance for ANY thoughts, input or advice.
Nearly 1 month ago I learned my wife had been having an affair with her coworker. I had suspicions so one morning before work I checked her phone and found some "I miss you, wish you were here" type texts. I confronted her and she admitted to the affair. She said it was over and she had already chosen to end it and move with me to our new home in a different town. I told her I forgive her and we will move on. She says she doesn't know if she loves me or not anymore but wishes to try to find love again save our marriage and keep our family together (we have 3 kids). It has been a rough month. I find less and less "triggers" that remind me of the affair and we are more or less happy most days. Sex life has improved, but is still not as frequent as I would like. She said she would not talk to him again but last week I found out he had texted her and they texted back and forth for a couple days. She vows it was friend type talk, "how are you doing? hows the new job?" type stuff b ut I know she had feelings for him and she has told me it is hard not talking to him when they had spent so much time together at work. I am really struggling to try to trust her again. I constantly find myself checking her phone, email, call logs, anything I can think of. I have also had her delete all pictures and everything to do with him from her facebook and computer. I feel so terrible constantly checking in on her and she is very annoyed that I do it. She acts like it never happened and I don't know if she is just way better at moving on or what? I guess what I would like advice on is how to know if she really is committed to saving this marriage and how I can go about putting this behind me without needing to constantly check up on her? Thank you in advance for ANY thoughts, input or advice.
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