I wanted to post this but was busy with finals. Sam's thread got me thinking of an issue I'm having with one of my sibling.
Background: I'm 21. I'm also in counseling due to witnessing domestic abuse while growing up.
A year and half ago my parents stopped talking to each other for reason unknown to me (and honestly I don't care). My dad makes wayyyyyy more than my mom. So my mom has been trying to get him to pay her rent, car and a few (new) debts. As far as I know he used to pay even though they were not on speaking term. Less than 6 months ago, he stopped paying and I don't remember why (someone told me but Gosh it's too dramatic for me to remember).
So a month ago my mom got one of my sibling (1st born..I'm the youngest) to call him and ask for the money. He told him that he wasn't going to send money because mom is bad/disrespectful/ he doesn't owe her that money etc... My sibling started arguing for my mom and my dad said something mean/insensitive about mom. So my sibling got pissed off and stopped talking to him.
I stay in campus and don't call everyday because frankly I'm busy and don't have time (I do email though). Anyway, a week ago I called my dad to talk to him and it has been a while. So he tells me what happened and how my sibling scolded him. Keep in my no one told me about it. So I call my sibling and ask what happened, he tells me that dad was rude/bla bla. He wanted me to jump on board with them and show loyalty by siding with them. My answer was that I don't take part in issues that do not concern me. I was not there when he argued with dad or when mom& dad had a fallout, so I cannot take part in the problem.
He said that I was selfish and was using my issues with my mom. I admit I have issues with her but that's not why I don't want to stop talking to my dad. I just feel that I should show both of them the same loyalty. I would have been pissed off if he said an unflattering thing while she has never done the same. Ironically on Christmas break, I overhead her talk about him in a condescending manner on the phone with one her sibling. I just went about my business since it's none of my business.
My question is am I being a bad daughter? Am I insensitive?
Thanks for reading!
Background: I'm 21. I'm also in counseling due to witnessing domestic abuse while growing up.
A year and half ago my parents stopped talking to each other for reason unknown to me (and honestly I don't care). My dad makes wayyyyyy more than my mom. So my mom has been trying to get him to pay her rent, car and a few (new) debts. As far as I know he used to pay even though they were not on speaking term. Less than 6 months ago, he stopped paying and I don't remember why (someone told me but Gosh it's too dramatic for me to remember).
So a month ago my mom got one of my sibling (1st born..I'm the youngest) to call him and ask for the money. He told him that he wasn't going to send money because mom is bad/disrespectful/ he doesn't owe her that money etc... My sibling started arguing for my mom and my dad said something mean/insensitive about mom. So my sibling got pissed off and stopped talking to him.
I stay in campus and don't call everyday because frankly I'm busy and don't have time (I do email though). Anyway, a week ago I called my dad to talk to him and it has been a while. So he tells me what happened and how my sibling scolded him. Keep in my no one told me about it. So I call my sibling and ask what happened, he tells me that dad was rude/bla bla. He wanted me to jump on board with them and show loyalty by siding with them. My answer was that I don't take part in issues that do not concern me. I was not there when he argued with dad or when mom& dad had a fallout, so I cannot take part in the problem.
He said that I was selfish and was using my issues with my mom. I admit I have issues with her but that's not why I don't want to stop talking to my dad. I just feel that I should show both of them the same loyalty. I would have been pissed off if he said an unflattering thing while she has never done the same. Ironically on Christmas break, I overhead her talk about him in a condescending manner on the phone with one her sibling. I just went about my business since it's none of my business.
My question is am I being a bad daughter? Am I insensitive?
Thanks for reading!
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