your past marriage is OVER.
you chose to reconcile, so you are working on a NEW MARRIAGE.
that means you are a new person. you have changed(dont tell me you havent, ive been there. if your there, you have changed)
your wayward SPOUSE is a new person. whether thats a good thing or not, it doesnt matter. she is new and your going to have to deal with that.
so, you want to reconcile? do you have what it takes? i ask that because i can assure you that if you think of them as the same, you will judge them as the same person who hurt you. if they are new, then its easy to fly to 50,000 feet and just watch and see how this new person does.
if they show the same traits as the person who betrayed you, then pop smoke and get the hell out of dodge.
they might not do that though. they may act like somebody you have never seen before. they may act like someone who really values your happiness above their own. if that happens, then you know that your new spouse is the one for you. you will know that you can live in a marriage with them.
remember, your last marriage was violated. that means it ENDED!
when you choose to reconcile, you CHOOSE to create an entirely new marriage. your free to be a new person, since the person you married to begin with either never existed or ceased to exist. everything you thought you knew about your spouse was apparently wrong. it means your going to have to change things if you want to be married to this new person that you now realize is in front of you.
are you ready for it? i have to warn you, its not easy. expect fights, resentments, arguments, and strife. but on the same token, you can also expect companionship, love, sex, intimacy, and understanding.
actually, you can expect whatever you want. you get to be whatever you want, remember? its only fair.
but, whatever you do, whoever you decide to be, be honest. dishonesty is what led you(or rather, your spouse) to get to this point, right?
so be honest. be who YOU are.
you will be fine.
you chose to reconcile, so you are working on a NEW MARRIAGE.
that means you are a new person. you have changed(dont tell me you havent, ive been there. if your there, you have changed)
your wayward SPOUSE is a new person. whether thats a good thing or not, it doesnt matter. she is new and your going to have to deal with that.
so, you want to reconcile? do you have what it takes? i ask that because i can assure you that if you think of them as the same, you will judge them as the same person who hurt you. if they are new, then its easy to fly to 50,000 feet and just watch and see how this new person does.
if they show the same traits as the person who betrayed you, then pop smoke and get the hell out of dodge.
they might not do that though. they may act like somebody you have never seen before. they may act like someone who really values your happiness above their own. if that happens, then you know that your new spouse is the one for you. you will know that you can live in a marriage with them.
remember, your last marriage was violated. that means it ENDED!
when you choose to reconcile, you CHOOSE to create an entirely new marriage. your free to be a new person, since the person you married to begin with either never existed or ceased to exist. everything you thought you knew about your spouse was apparently wrong. it means your going to have to change things if you want to be married to this new person that you now realize is in front of you.
are you ready for it? i have to warn you, its not easy. expect fights, resentments, arguments, and strife. but on the same token, you can also expect companionship, love, sex, intimacy, and understanding.
actually, you can expect whatever you want. you get to be whatever you want, remember? its only fair.
but, whatever you do, whoever you decide to be, be honest. dishonesty is what led you(or rather, your spouse) to get to this point, right?
so be honest. be who YOU are.
you will be fine.
Put the internet to work for you.
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