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I feel devastated :(

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I have been with my bf for years and years. We met when we were 16 and have been together since. Over the years he has been caught texting other girls (2 in 10 years) and he broke my heart when he left me to take one of them out. After 3 months he came crawling back and i took him back. From that day on he promised me he would never lie to me again about anything and we built up an amazing trust and everything was perfect. Then one day I caught him watching porn. This is not something I would normally get angry about, don't get me wrong it pisses me off and it does upset me but it isn't a deal breaker in the relationship. But he lied till he was blue in the face that he was not watching it, but eventually he told me. Again he promised he would never lie again. I said if you get caught out you need to be honest, I need to know that no matter what I can trust you.

Anyway this was 2 years ago. Last night I went through his phone ( call it gut instinct) and i never go through his phone! I found porn sites visited in the week. Again he lied to me over and over and said It must be something we watched together. ( once in a blue moon we watch together) However defo not in the last week and defo not the porn he was watching. I could not believe it. I could not believe he was lying to me again. He looked me right in the eye and swore on my life he has not watched any. After an hour he finally caved in and told me the truth.

What get's me is the lies and the nastiest towards me, making it out like I'm crazy or doing his head in.

I'm so devastated from all the lies, I feel like I can't believe a word he says but I don't want to chuck away an 11 year relationship. Please help because my heart is breaking :(

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