My husband and I have been together for 8 years this week. We have had a strange relationship as we married young and made young mistakes. In 2011 I caught him cheating and confronted him. He told me that he never had sex with her but it was a cry for attention. We decided to work through it and move on. A few months later we were pregnant with our child. Then the normal early baby stage happened. Now we are to here. A few months ago he began acting very strange and staying at a friends house overnight when he would work late and have to work early in the morn. I was told this person was a guy although I had never met him. I discovered that the person was not a guy and that he had been staying at another woman's house two and three times a week and that they were calling and texting each other multiple times a day. I confronted him with the information and he told me that he was renting a room from her and that he was planning on leaving me. I was floored I didn't see it coming at all. I knew our marriage was shaky but had no idea he was thinking this route. He started staying there more often and telling me that he wasn't sure if he really wanted it to be over and that we should date. I didn't feel that this was acceptable and told him I had no interest in him if he was going to hurt me like this. He freaked out and came home and told me there was nothing going on between them and that he wanted to work on things. I was willing to work on things with a few stipulations, no overnights with any one, no more texting calling this woman, and that we needed counseling. He agree to all terms and we went to counseling once. During counseling he swore nothing was going on between them and did say much of anything else. after the meeting he refused to go back saying the doc was a "quack". Since then he has started hanging out with a male friend of which I have not met. I have told him I want to meet this person and he says oh no prob lem but always has a reason of why we can't. This man he is hanging out with is the brother of a female co worker and in the past he told me they live together. When he and this guy started hanging out he told me that he had moved out and was living in his own place. He has asked to stay over night once or twice and has started doing it twice a week. I have become to be suspicious again and he is calling the female co worker often and texting her as well. I found out that he had lied to me about staying at the male friends house and has stayed at her house a couple of times because the brother "got to drunk to drive to his house and he was stuck". But he didn't tell me until I confronted him. He has lied to me about a party that he was invited to with her and her brother and said he didn't know about it in time for me to go, but knew early enough to sneak his bathing suit to the party, claiming that he borrowed a suit. He has told me in the past borrowing a bathing suit is l ike borrowing underwear and is gross, but told me he didn't take his suit and borrowed one. I have confronted him with the lies and he says i should have told you because nothing is going on and you would have been ok with it if I had told you, I don't know why I'm lying to you and I will work on it. But he is still calling this female co worker daily and asking to stay up there. I told him I am not comfortable with him staying any where because he is lying to me all the time and I can't trust him to do what he says he will do. I don't know what to do about the lies. He guards his phone like it is full of gold and when I ask to see it he gets very defensive and says I am intruding into his privacy. I don't want to end this relationship for multiple reasons, love, our son, and mostly love. But I can't go on like this, even when he is telling the truth I don't believe him. I feel like I have to be a detective to know anything about his life. He is constantly on his phone and w hen I sneak a peek at what he is doing he closes it or jumps to something else. I just need some advice on how to handle the lies and the possible other woman.
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