I am 22 and my boyfriend is 21. We've been together for just over a year now, seven months over long-distance. We often talk about how we are a perfect fit and soul-mates, and how we want to spend the rest of our lives together, grow old together and be buried next to each, and the like. We are deeply in love and know how lucky we are to have found love so young when some people spend the rest of their lives looking for that someone.
However many a times we break up (and later make-up) because of underlying trust issues I have, and most of the times they relate to my dislike of his friends. I've never been the controlling type and am a very fun loving girl and love fun and including others in it. I should point out that, I've been in a long-term relationship before him (and so has he) and I was on magnificent terms with my then-boyfriend's friends so I long for similar warmth from my current boyfriend's friends, more so because my friends are very accepting of him and show him a lot of warmth so I'd at least like the same back (I have hung out with his friends quite a bit before). These friends I have in mind are all like a tight knit clique and so I feel if I am to spend the rest of my life with this man, it wouldn't be so great to spend it with his 'second-family' disliking me and influencing him negatively.
My dislike for his friends however go further than that, his friends are all 'stoners' and do not seem to do much with their lives apart from sit around and play games and smoke pot, and his of the female ones, they smoke a lot of pot and are let's say, very flaunting of their bodies and almost always go out with little to no clothes on and grind on other males and so on despite having boyfriends, and yet they have the audacity to speak ill of me. (Note: I do not smoke and have encouraged my boyfriend to quit smoking, and he has).
PS. In the past we have had issues that made us untrusting of each other but we've worked out all but this problem. We have almost NO communication problems as we're both very vocal of our feelings, and I have mentioned this issue but I am embarrassed to keep bringing it up.
So what I am basically asking is that, how can we keep going? We are at an endless cycle of playing happy family and then arguing and then making up, over and over again. When he's with them I know he's mingling with drug users etc. I myself am a very attractive, very ambitious, and bubbly character and I always push him to do well, and he is always thanking me for my positive influence. I do not want to change his place of belonging but I feel like I will NEVER be accepting of his friends (believe me there are other friends of his that I like very much but unfortunately he sticks the above set of friends instead all the time apart from when he is spending time on me, and yes, he makes a lot of time for me as I do for him). I am not the type of girl that will say 'it's either me or them'. No, I want nothing but happiness for him. But that means I remain a little sad always (ha, not because his happiness but because of the issue above :p:p).
Is there any further point in me trying anymore and should I slowly distance myself from him and just let the ship sink and move on and eventually find someone more ideal for me? Oh but he is ideal, accept for the companions he has taken and it is quite a problem.
However many a times we break up (and later make-up) because of underlying trust issues I have, and most of the times they relate to my dislike of his friends. I've never been the controlling type and am a very fun loving girl and love fun and including others in it. I should point out that, I've been in a long-term relationship before him (and so has he) and I was on magnificent terms with my then-boyfriend's friends so I long for similar warmth from my current boyfriend's friends, more so because my friends are very accepting of him and show him a lot of warmth so I'd at least like the same back (I have hung out with his friends quite a bit before). These friends I have in mind are all like a tight knit clique and so I feel if I am to spend the rest of my life with this man, it wouldn't be so great to spend it with his 'second-family' disliking me and influencing him negatively.
My dislike for his friends however go further than that, his friends are all 'stoners' and do not seem to do much with their lives apart from sit around and play games and smoke pot, and his of the female ones, they smoke a lot of pot and are let's say, very flaunting of their bodies and almost always go out with little to no clothes on and grind on other males and so on despite having boyfriends, and yet they have the audacity to speak ill of me. (Note: I do not smoke and have encouraged my boyfriend to quit smoking, and he has).
PS. In the past we have had issues that made us untrusting of each other but we've worked out all but this problem. We have almost NO communication problems as we're both very vocal of our feelings, and I have mentioned this issue but I am embarrassed to keep bringing it up.
So what I am basically asking is that, how can we keep going? We are at an endless cycle of playing happy family and then arguing and then making up, over and over again. When he's with them I know he's mingling with drug users etc. I myself am a very attractive, very ambitious, and bubbly character and I always push him to do well, and he is always thanking me for my positive influence. I do not want to change his place of belonging but I feel like I will NEVER be accepting of his friends (believe me there are other friends of his that I like very much but unfortunately he sticks the above set of friends instead all the time apart from when he is spending time on me, and yes, he makes a lot of time for me as I do for him). I am not the type of girl that will say 'it's either me or them'. No, I want nothing but happiness for him. But that means I remain a little sad always (ha, not because his happiness but because of the issue above :p:p).
Is there any further point in me trying anymore and should I slowly distance myself from him and just let the ship sink and move on and eventually find someone more ideal for me? Oh but he is ideal, accept for the companions he has taken and it is quite a problem.
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