This is my first post and I'm only here because I don't know what else to do. I found out on January 25th of this year that my wife of 2 years was having an affair. I was suspicious for a long time but like the idiot I am I believed her when she said nothing was going on. I never had any reason not to trust her, she was and still is my world.
How long it went on.
I work really hard to provide for our family. At first she told me it happened one day when I was gone on a business trip. I had caught them kissing under my own roof with me there. It took all my strength to kindly ask him to leave and not beat the crap out of him. I confronted her that night and found out they had slept together one during my business trip. The next night the whole truth came out and she told me they had been sleeping together since the beginning of November. I was shocked and destroyed. It has stopped since the 25th of January (to my knowledge)
What I did:
I told her that I still wanted to be with her. I consoled her and held her while she violently sobbed about everything she had done. I told her things would have to be different because I didn't feel cared for.
Why I am so hurt:
I am not a boastful guy, there is no reason for you to believe me but I think I am a great husband. I take care of my wife, cook for her every night, clean the house and often feel like I am the only one who takes care of things around the house. I even changed my diet to match hers after we discovered a few food allergies she has. I work my butt off to provide for her and protect her. Our sex life has been on a decline after our 1 year anniversary. Here is the thing, our intimacy is always fireworks, every time. The frequency is getting less and less. I always feel like I have to coax it from her. Even after everything that happened. I am crushed because I have to beg for it but she gave it to this other guy multiple times a week for months!? Also I have a good body, am way more attractive than this other guy, I am further in my career and he is an immature jerk. The list of grievances goes on....I won't waste your time with them all.
What do I do?
I love this girl with everything, I have shared these feelings but I feel like she is too selfish to notice or care. She even bought books to help our marriage but has long since stopped reading them just like I predicted she would. She is my world, how do I get her back? How do I stop hurting? My wife means so much to me, how do we move on?
How long it went on.
I work really hard to provide for our family. At first she told me it happened one day when I was gone on a business trip. I had caught them kissing under my own roof with me there. It took all my strength to kindly ask him to leave and not beat the crap out of him. I confronted her that night and found out they had slept together one during my business trip. The next night the whole truth came out and she told me they had been sleeping together since the beginning of November. I was shocked and destroyed. It has stopped since the 25th of January (to my knowledge)
What I did:
I told her that I still wanted to be with her. I consoled her and held her while she violently sobbed about everything she had done. I told her things would have to be different because I didn't feel cared for.
Why I am so hurt:
I am not a boastful guy, there is no reason for you to believe me but I think I am a great husband. I take care of my wife, cook for her every night, clean the house and often feel like I am the only one who takes care of things around the house. I even changed my diet to match hers after we discovered a few food allergies she has. I work my butt off to provide for her and protect her. Our sex life has been on a decline after our 1 year anniversary. Here is the thing, our intimacy is always fireworks, every time. The frequency is getting less and less. I always feel like I have to coax it from her. Even after everything that happened. I am crushed because I have to beg for it but she gave it to this other guy multiple times a week for months!? Also I have a good body, am way more attractive than this other guy, I am further in my career and he is an immature jerk. The list of grievances goes on....I won't waste your time with them all.
What do I do?
I love this girl with everything, I have shared these feelings but I feel like she is too selfish to notice or care. She even bought books to help our marriage but has long since stopped reading them just like I predicted she would. She is my world, how do I get her back? How do I stop hurting? My wife means so much to me, how do we move on?
Put the internet to work for you.
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