I'll try and make this brief as I can. About two years ago my husband left the state we live in for a job. With the promise of moving the children and I to the new state. I need to add the six months before he left were hell on both of us. He wasn't making the money he wanted to and I was full time caring for my father who lived with us while he was dying of cancer, I also took care of mom til her death a couple of years earlier. I didn't want him to leave, told him so, thought a major change like that was too soon for him, us, the children, and we spoke with our pastor. He left anyway and said it was all about the money and I believed him. He's come to visit the children and I twice for three days each time. The last time he was here I thought we had a short but wonderful time. I did notice he had is cell on him 24/7, took many texts, and calls. So did our 20 year old daughter who copied all of his cell texts, after she saw one from his x-wife. He doe sn't have a password so she didn't break in to the phone, and we do have a family plan. It took her about a week to give me the messages and over three for me to read through them. I was ill, he had planned on leaving us, taking the out of state job much earlier, however my father's illness kept him here longer. He's been having an emotional affair with the x-wife, planning their future, and I should add she's married. But having a sexual affair with a women he met through his work. He does not know I know all of this but now is telling me our 19 years together was crap, that I wasn't a good wife, and when we sell the house and move to where he is "we will have to rethink our marriage". I know from his texts he wants a divorce, is happy he won't have to pay child support for our daughter, and wants custody of our 12 year old twin boys, and needs me to go to work ( I've been a stay at home mom and wife) so he won't have to pay as much child support and alimony. To be honest I would hate me too from everything I read about me on his phone. I don't know his earnings anymore, he's not making the house payments, and not sending money to his family. I don't know if I should file for a divorce or try to talk to him about what I know. I have no family to help us, have not worked in 20 years, and am just plain old scared.
Put the internet to work for you.
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