I have a question about my confidence / security in myself 2 years on from my divorce. Any advice welcome!
The background is I got married in my early 20s and was divorced at 31. That was 2 years ago. My ex husband was my first real boyfriend as I met him when i was 17. He wasn't very nice to me either emotionally or physically and I got very depressed during/ after the divorce - but that is sorted now and I would say I'm generally speaking quite happy.
My problem is, I've noticed that I start to feel unhappy about myself / insecure of my 'attractiveness' when I am in a relationship. I have had 2 relationships since my ex husband and both have been kind men who haven't given me any 'reason' to feel bad about myself. But I've noticed I easily start getting worried about how I look or if he will like someone more than me or do something to hurt me ( with another woman). In contrast, when I'm on my own, I feel better about myself and my self image is not too bad.
I'm thinking this could relate back to my ex husband - he had several affairs ( I don't know all the details because he withheld the details) and he was very good at hiding the truth. I did have about a year of counselling during my separation / divorce and I came to realise that my ex husband was a manipulative person and emotionally quite abusive towards me.
If it relates back to him, any suggestions on how to feel better about myself in a relationship? Also, surely 2 years after divorce, I shouldn't be influenced by that anymore? I would like to be in a relationship and start a family but I'm feeling so hesitant about men.....
The background is I got married in my early 20s and was divorced at 31. That was 2 years ago. My ex husband was my first real boyfriend as I met him when i was 17. He wasn't very nice to me either emotionally or physically and I got very depressed during/ after the divorce - but that is sorted now and I would say I'm generally speaking quite happy.
My problem is, I've noticed that I start to feel unhappy about myself / insecure of my 'attractiveness' when I am in a relationship. I have had 2 relationships since my ex husband and both have been kind men who haven't given me any 'reason' to feel bad about myself. But I've noticed I easily start getting worried about how I look or if he will like someone more than me or do something to hurt me ( with another woman). In contrast, when I'm on my own, I feel better about myself and my self image is not too bad.
I'm thinking this could relate back to my ex husband - he had several affairs ( I don't know all the details because he withheld the details) and he was very good at hiding the truth. I did have about a year of counselling during my separation / divorce and I came to realise that my ex husband was a manipulative person and emotionally quite abusive towards me.
If it relates back to him, any suggestions on how to feel better about myself in a relationship? Also, surely 2 years after divorce, I shouldn't be influenced by that anymore? I would like to be in a relationship and start a family but I'm feeling so hesitant about men.....
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