Hi....this is my first post although I have been reading the posts on here the past two months.....this is a long one so you may want to settle in....here goes nothing.
I married my High School sweetheart 22 years ago and we recently moved to Virginia. Our oldest daughter is a Senior in college and recently married in May and stayed in Alabama. Our youngest made the move to Virginai with us. My wife and I have went through a lot the past three years, her father dying in 2010, my mother dying in 2011 and my father recently passed away in 2012. She started therapy in Virginia and while I know that she has not been truly happy (long story of her childhood) I thought we were doing fine. She met someone at a bar. He's an older guy, 2X divorced car salesman who lives in a modified basement apartment of someone's house. He claims to be an ex NFL player, I called the Raider's they have never heard of him, and even claims to be the ex body guard of Sylvester Stallone and is the cousin of Stephanie Myers....sound too good to be true? To everyone but my wife.
She tells me that she loves me but is not in love with me anymore. I catch her talking to this guy constantly....Facebook, text messages, phone messages....she's not very smart. When I come back from a trip in Nov, she tells me that she needs to talk and wants a separation. While we are talking upstairs, our daughter picks up her phone and finds all the sordid dirty sexting messages.....my daughter brings me the phone and shows me. I actually try to cover for my wife, but my daughter also shows me pictures.....needless to say my wife left that night. So......i still want to make it work.....I love her. We go to MC, and she tells the counselor that she does not want the marriage. I ask her to do the 40 day Love Dare and not contact this guy. She agrees......but on Thanksgiving i catch her talking to this guy. I pick up the phone and threaten him.....I want to beat the crap out of this guy so bad I can't see straight.....but i know i'll lose my job and my daughter, who has said that wants to live with me. We agree to a divorce on 28 Nov. Now here is where it gets messy. I can't stop wanting to hurt this guy and make him hurt worse than I am hurting. I can't sleep, i can't eat, i can't concentrate. Even her own siblings are telling me that I'm better off.....but i still love her. How do i move on? She has said the cruelest things to me.....i never satisfied her sexually, emotionally, and i was always so selfish. She does not even see the carnage she has done to the family. I feel hopeless. I am beyond sad...i'm angry.....i want vengeance.
I married my High School sweetheart 22 years ago and we recently moved to Virginia. Our oldest daughter is a Senior in college and recently married in May and stayed in Alabama. Our youngest made the move to Virginai with us. My wife and I have went through a lot the past three years, her father dying in 2010, my mother dying in 2011 and my father recently passed away in 2012. She started therapy in Virginia and while I know that she has not been truly happy (long story of her childhood) I thought we were doing fine. She met someone at a bar. He's an older guy, 2X divorced car salesman who lives in a modified basement apartment of someone's house. He claims to be an ex NFL player, I called the Raider's they have never heard of him, and even claims to be the ex body guard of Sylvester Stallone and is the cousin of Stephanie Myers....sound too good to be true? To everyone but my wife.
She tells me that she loves me but is not in love with me anymore. I catch her talking to this guy constantly....Facebook, text messages, phone messages....she's not very smart. When I come back from a trip in Nov, she tells me that she needs to talk and wants a separation. While we are talking upstairs, our daughter picks up her phone and finds all the sordid dirty sexting messages.....my daughter brings me the phone and shows me. I actually try to cover for my wife, but my daughter also shows me pictures.....needless to say my wife left that night. So......i still want to make it work.....I love her. We go to MC, and she tells the counselor that she does not want the marriage. I ask her to do the 40 day Love Dare and not contact this guy. She agrees......but on Thanksgiving i catch her talking to this guy. I pick up the phone and threaten him.....I want to beat the crap out of this guy so bad I can't see straight.....but i know i'll lose my job and my daughter, who has said that wants to live with me. We agree to a divorce on 28 Nov. Now here is where it gets messy. I can't stop wanting to hurt this guy and make him hurt worse than I am hurting. I can't sleep, i can't eat, i can't concentrate. Even her own siblings are telling me that I'm better off.....but i still love her. How do i move on? She has said the cruelest things to me.....i never satisfied her sexually, emotionally, and i was always so selfish. She does not even see the carnage she has done to the family. I feel hopeless. I am beyond sad...i'm angry.....i want vengeance.
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