I've been married for 20 years. My husband, who recently left me for another woman, came back home on the condition that I address "my BPD." This was news to me: I had been in therapy on and off for years about issues with anxiety, but I'd never heard of BPD. I immediately looked it up, identified with the fear of abandonment (but not with anything else), and brought the issue up with a therapist. After exploring the issue for many sessions, we both agreed that I didn't show any signs of BPD: I am not reckless (on the contrary: I'm overly cautious and have never had a run-in with the law in my life), I'm emotionally stable (no mood swings, though I as I mentioned before I am an anxious person, and I know that this can be a real drag sometimes), I'm not violent or abusive, and I've never tried to hurt myself or anyone else for that matter. My husband remains convinced that I have BPD. He has become emotionally abusive (refuses to talk to me or even look at me for days if I do something that upsets him), he avoids me like the plague, threatens to divorce me, and has some pretty epic temper tantrums. I love him, but I am upset and angry not only about the BPD accusations but also about his infidelity and the way he treats me in general. Does this ring a bell with anyone? Any ideas or input about what might be going on and what I can do to help him? He really seems miserable. I'm at a total loss.
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