I'm in the process of legal separation. While I don't want it I also understand why we are here. No cheating, abuse or yelling at each other but still I am here. I understand that emotional neglect and failure to tackle problems early on can doom a marriage, I'm proof of that. Our marriage, as I know it, will end.
One of the things that stands out the most to me when reading comments here is when things take a turn for the worse people almost always point to themselves looking for answers as to how they caused it or why they are the blame. They say they know they are guilty of this or that. I think that reflection is good but I also think it's good to look at the big picture. Are you the only one to blame? It's hard to think that way when there's pain but I've learned that I need to think about the good I have done. I'm not perfect but I also know I am not the only reason why this marriage is where it is right now.
Something that always follows the self blame is the vow to better yourself in hopes that it will make your marriage survive this. I can tell you too from personal experience that is not always the case. But what I also know is that when you take a good look at yourself and decide to make that change, put in the work and really make it happen, you will come out a better person in the end no matter what happens to your marriage.
One of the things that stands out the most to me when reading comments here is when things take a turn for the worse people almost always point to themselves looking for answers as to how they caused it or why they are the blame. They say they know they are guilty of this or that. I think that reflection is good but I also think it's good to look at the big picture. Are you the only one to blame? It's hard to think that way when there's pain but I've learned that I need to think about the good I have done. I'm not perfect but I also know I am not the only reason why this marriage is where it is right now.
Something that always follows the self blame is the vow to better yourself in hopes that it will make your marriage survive this. I can tell you too from personal experience that is not always the case. But what I also know is that when you take a good look at yourself and decide to make that change, put in the work and really make it happen, you will come out a better person in the end no matter what happens to your marriage.
Put the internet to work for you.
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