I have been here before, short version of my history..husband of 20 years cheated for 2 years with hookers, I found out a year ago, I tried everything to get past it, MC, individual therapy, God, church, books, message boards, everything. I have known since day one that cheating is a deal breaker for me, but still tried.
Okay, I asked him to leave for over a month, he wouldn't go. We lived in the same house, but basically separated. Well, an old BF , (that was the only man I ever truly loved prior to cheating husband), started talking to me on Facebook and it didn't take long for us to start an emotional affair. So, I told husband the whole truth, even though he has lied every second to me about what he did. I told him he HAD to move out, not me, because after all he was the one that cheated.
I left him and stayed with my sister for a few days in which I had a weekend with the old BF, things are really hot and heavy with him. So finally husband moves out and now there are a lot of things I am feeling.
He is so devastated, will not give me a minutes peace, begging me to give him another chance, crying, all of the usual things, can't live without me, knows it's all his fault etc.
I guess my question is this; even though I know I do not want to save the marriage and I know he started all of this, how do I stop feeling so guilty? Don't I have the right to move on? I know it's impossible to not still have feelings for someone you shared 20 years of your life with, but this past year has been nothing short of hell and this old BF is only happiness I have had in over 3 years because the 2 husband was with his *****s was terrible. I guess I just want someone to tell me I have the right to move on and not feel so bad about it. Thanks for listening.
Okay, I asked him to leave for over a month, he wouldn't go. We lived in the same house, but basically separated. Well, an old BF , (that was the only man I ever truly loved prior to cheating husband), started talking to me on Facebook and it didn't take long for us to start an emotional affair. So, I told husband the whole truth, even though he has lied every second to me about what he did. I told him he HAD to move out, not me, because after all he was the one that cheated.
I left him and stayed with my sister for a few days in which I had a weekend with the old BF, things are really hot and heavy with him. So finally husband moves out and now there are a lot of things I am feeling.
He is so devastated, will not give me a minutes peace, begging me to give him another chance, crying, all of the usual things, can't live without me, knows it's all his fault etc.
I guess my question is this; even though I know I do not want to save the marriage and I know he started all of this, how do I stop feeling so guilty? Don't I have the right to move on? I know it's impossible to not still have feelings for someone you shared 20 years of your life with, but this past year has been nothing short of hell and this old BF is only happiness I have had in over 3 years because the 2 husband was with his *****s was terrible. I guess I just want someone to tell me I have the right to move on and not feel so bad about it. Thanks for listening.
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