Hello.
My husband and I had a fight, a short one, but it escalated to the point where he called me a c--t, and a b-tch. Yep. Ugly. Does it even matter at that point what we were arguing about? If things get so bad that he does that, is there even any point?
It's certainly not the first time, and I know he does it to deliberately hurt me. He has little to no control over his temper, but has never raised a hand to me or our teenage son.
I'm new here, but am at my wit's end. I'm actually wondering if this marriage should be saved, or if I'm a fool for staying. It's obvious that his contempt runs so deep that he would call me such things, and that my self-esteem is so low, and my dependency on him is so great, that I allow him to do it.
We're walking around each other now, not speaking or even looking at each other, and will continue to do so until enough time has passed (a couple of days, maybe?) that we either have another big fight or just grow apathetic enough to resume normal communication like nothing ever happened. And how do I know this? Because we've done it all before.
He won't apologize. Never has, never will. He sees our fights as just as much my fault as his (perhaps...) and his name-calling as justified (I know it's not).
I would like to see a therapist, either alone for me to just preserve my sanity, or together with him. I'm actually looking for someone to sit across a table from him and tell him that there are no circumstances on earth that warrant such horrible name-calling to your wife. If I told him that, he would just laugh. But I guess it's obvious that we have some serious issues to work through.
Or, I have some serious bag-packing to do. Ugh....
We've been married for 16 years and are financially stable.
If you've read this far, thanks. Thoughts? Advice? Any guidance would be appreciated.
Thank you.
My husband and I had a fight, a short one, but it escalated to the point where he called me a c--t, and a b-tch. Yep. Ugly. Does it even matter at that point what we were arguing about? If things get so bad that he does that, is there even any point?
It's certainly not the first time, and I know he does it to deliberately hurt me. He has little to no control over his temper, but has never raised a hand to me or our teenage son.
I'm new here, but am at my wit's end. I'm actually wondering if this marriage should be saved, or if I'm a fool for staying. It's obvious that his contempt runs so deep that he would call me such things, and that my self-esteem is so low, and my dependency on him is so great, that I allow him to do it.
We're walking around each other now, not speaking or even looking at each other, and will continue to do so until enough time has passed (a couple of days, maybe?) that we either have another big fight or just grow apathetic enough to resume normal communication like nothing ever happened. And how do I know this? Because we've done it all before.
He won't apologize. Never has, never will. He sees our fights as just as much my fault as his (perhaps...) and his name-calling as justified (I know it's not).
I would like to see a therapist, either alone for me to just preserve my sanity, or together with him. I'm actually looking for someone to sit across a table from him and tell him that there are no circumstances on earth that warrant such horrible name-calling to your wife. If I told him that, he would just laugh. But I guess it's obvious that we have some serious issues to work through.
Or, I have some serious bag-packing to do. Ugh....
We've been married for 16 years and are financially stable.
If you've read this far, thanks. Thoughts? Advice? Any guidance would be appreciated.
Thank you.
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