wife had EA with boss said crazy things

Been married 14 years in the relationship for 19. I have two kids. My wife and family have been everything to me. I go to my day job 80k a year. come home and spend time with the kids and the wife. night walks, cuddling watching tv, playing games together. Sex has always been great for both people. I can last a long time and she is always pleased etc. She also seemed very very loyal which is one of the things i always admired in her. So last year my dad dies, we move down to take over my moms house and help her out. I suggest that my wife find a job so she can socalize etc and i told her she should go back to college etc she is so close to her degree. Her best friend gets her a job who works there 3 times a week. I noticed over the next year that my wife is acting a little ****i. she is spending lots of time on the pc. she is dressing up for work but looking extra good. she never wares nail polish and now she is wearing bubble gum pink etc. i notice her buying these very sexy tops for work that show off her c cup. about a month before the blow up she starts acting crazy horny and wants sex every night. normally it was like once a week. then she starts saying if we ever seperate she needs time so that she doesnt have to move back in with her mother to get some money for an apartment. she says this three stimes in two weeks. so i finally confront her. it comes out she has Crushie feelings for her boss. That she wanted to do a sexual act to him that would lead to sex and that if she had slept with him she would of left me for him. I was like WTF i can bang you for hours and you never even had sex with the guy. I come to find out she was looping that come and get it song over and over and thinking about her boss. the guy was pulling the classic i have traveled the world stuff, i no all about exotic foods etc trying to build himslef up, but she was sucked right into it. I found an email where she wrote her friend saying the physical was great with me but the emotional day to day just was not there. This is utter bullcrap. during the initial fight she said that she was planning on sleeping with him so that he would get feelings for her. How dumb can you be?? she was just a hot piece of ass to this guy. i gave her 20 years of great experiences and trust and turned down plenty of hot woman and never cheated on her. she goes out into the work force after 8 years of being a house mom HER choice and she falls in love with her boss who is married with two kids, wear adult feetie pajamsa and is an utter tool. he is not even a good looking guy none of it makes sense. SHE can't even explain it to me. after months of lies and storys this happened about three months ago she finally admited she had been into him almost from the beggining and in the last month before the blow up wanted out of our marriage. her plan was to sleep with the guy and some how he was going to leave his wife and kids and go with her and they would travel the world. no crap thats what she said. her disgusting words were just devistating. her obssesion in my mind mad me sick. this guy is a no body and average joe and she fell all in love with him and planned to dump me. NOW of course she tells me she loves me, it was a mistake, she was not thinking right, she doesnt know why she said those hurtful things. But to me the damage was done. who can be married thinking they may be number 2 in someone heart. security over passion. it has just wrecked everything. i look at her facebook page and just want to punch the screen. i love my kids i dont want to devistate them. Her right now not so much. she is telling me its her fault and she wants to treat me the way i should of alw ays been treated. i am going through days of utter rage. then it goes away then utter rage again. the messed up part as well is that they never had romantic talk, never had sex talk, nothing according to her. It was in her head and she leaned against him once while doing some computer training. she used to ask him what to eat for lunch. and he would talk to her about how unhappy he was at home etc. he bought nothing for his wife for valentines day. i bought mine 2 dozen roses, sherrys berrys, a card and ordered out. HE asks my wife out to lunch and also if she would come along and pick something out for his wife like chocolate. she refused. eventhough she wanted to be alone with him she was feeling guilty so would turn him down. I blew everything up DAYS before it was going to go physical. Now i am on the net looking up ea's and on forums like this. i am a wreck of a human being inside. all i wanted was to make a beautiful life for her and me. to be a family guy and she invi ted filth into our reality. any comments welcome.

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