Help with being supportive, no matter what.

My husband has worked for the same company for 12 years. We bought our house two miles from his office. I work full time too but have switched jobs a few times and I am younger than him, so not as settled in my career. I have a 1.5 hr commute each way. I took my job with the commute because we knew that one of us was getting a good deal, being so close to home. We have two young kids, one year left before our oldest will start kindergarten. We bought our house in one of the best school districts in the state. My husband was contacted by another company a few weeks ago with an offer to interview for a job. He didnt go out searching for a job, they came to him. I was happy for him but inside my stomach did a flip. He deserves to seek other options to see if he would be happier somewhere else. But I knew that we would lose a lot of perks if he left his current company. He gets extra vacation time, gets to make his own schedule for the most part. He handles shuttling the kids to/from daycare since I work so far away and he is usually the one who stays home when they are sick or daycare is closed since he has so much more leave than I do and his office is so close, its easy for him to pop in and out to bring work home. He got the job offer on Friday and came home very excited about his new job, planning to take it. I am happy that he gets to move forward in his career in a new and different place but my head is swirling with all of the new challenges this will put on our family starting in two weeks. I have not talked to him about any of my worries because I want to make sure I am nothing but 100% supportive of his career. My husband is a "nice guy" and if I expressed even the slightest hint of concern over this new job, he would decline the offer and shut the whole thing down. I say nice guy because I dont personally think that my concerns are a valid reason to stop him from taking this new opportunity - I own that I will have to make sacrifices to support him. However he would not pause long enough to talk it through with me and come up with a plan that would make us both happy. He would shut down and sacrifice everything if he knew how I felt. I don't want that at all. I hope someone else on this forum can understand what I mean by calling him a nice guy. He will start in two weeks. He will now have a 1 hoyr commute each way. He's already asked me if we xan split the responsibility of pick up and drop off of the kids. I said yes of course but I am thinking inside that we are adding a lot to our already overflowing plate. We can move, but moving is not instantaneous. We also took great care in selecting our current location and house. The schools here are excellent, we are close to family and able to have family watch our kids. I love the area we live in. My commute is pretty hellish but all other things considered (one of which was my husbands job and his ability to handle all of the little things that xome up) it was doable. I can find a new job. Again it wouldnt be instantaneous. Also, I am content in my company. I have seen a lot of growth and upward mobility where I am and I have a good relationship with my clients and coworkers. I have a degree and would like to build a career. I could give that up to go do something non-career related like retail or clerical work (assuming I could still make the same salary) but I would not be happy doing it. I could make the sacrifice though if it had to be done. I know we cant have it all. I feel like all of our struggles are born from the modern day problems of being lower middle class and struggling to make ends meet while also trying to be decent parents and keep some kind of meaningful job. I dont know too many other couples in my real life who have both husband and wife in careers and seeking professional development. Most of the couple's I know either have one stay at home parent, one who does work but chooses a job that is not career oriented to maintain flexibility for theur husband to put 100% of his attention into his career, or two high powered career spouses with no children (by choice, in the couples we know). Anyway I am just coming here for a bit of support for myself while I put all of my effort into supporting my husband as he takes on this new job. I want to be the rock for him because I know hes nervous and excited and needs me to be behind him. Posted via Mobile Device

Put the internet to work for you. via Personal Recipe 2629979