My Husband's Drinking

Hi All... I have been married to my husband for 20 years and we have been together for 30. We are both in our late 40s and we have 3 great kids...and a pretty wonderful life (for the most part -- more to come). My husband's a partner in a very successful business which has allowed me to stay home with the kids for the past 14 years. He loves me and is a great dad. Our kids love him. He's very active in their lives. Plays golf with our daughter…..gets up early on the weekends and takes our sons to the gym and plays basketball with them almost every weekend (he's still in very good shape and looks younger than he is)… We are really living a dream life to everyone that looks at us. We are financially secure and our house, kids college and lifestyle are all take care of. I grew up in a family where drinking was an issue. My mother drank herself to death ultimately. She was a puddle by dinner and slurred words and acted strangely throughout my childhood and teen years. Each year it got worse. When I graduated from college, I moved out and never moved back home. My dad did his best, but never dealt with her….he ultimately died years before she did…even though she drank and smoke every day. So excessive drinking is a trigger for me. My husband knows this. As I said, we have been together for 30 years. He is and has always been a party guy. His whole family is. Kids (nieces and nephews and our kids) birthday parties are like a frat party. Shots, beers wine etc. Xmas eve is a wild evening. They are a big Irish family and they can party with the best of them. Our whole life together has been work hard and play hard. And now it's really bothering me... a lot. I will qualify something. He never ever drinks and drives. He never ever is abusive or crazy. He's a happy go lucky, fun drunk. He's funny and gets along with everyone….he has a million friends in his life. They for the most part work hard and play hard as well. I'm just tired of being the wife of a party animal when we are out and social… I'm tired of being the DD for the most part. I'm nervous about my kids seeing this behavior all the time. I love my wine, but I'm not a wine drinking machine unless I'm away on a girls trip or something. Maybe I'm over-reacting because of my past, but it doesn't feel okay any more. So my questions are: 1. Is drinking everyday normal? My hubby comes home and cracks a beer every day after work. He then cooks dinner (he's a wonderful cook) and has a few beers during the evening. Maybe 5-7 a night. He's never drunk or sloppy, just drinks. Occasionally we'll share a bottle of wine for dinner as well. 2. Is drinking to the drunken level normal at certain social occasions? He's never falling down drunk or an angry drunk…but he gets really drunk and silly and giggly. He slurs a bit and walks funny, but he's sh!t faced. He is sometimes hung-over, but most of the time he functions just fine. 3. Is drinking to get buzzed (not drunk drunk) okay in front of kids? Thanks for listening…not sure I'm making any sense, but I love this site (been lurking for months) and there are so many wonderful people with wonderful advice I figured I'd tell my story.

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