Frustrated and full of Financial Fear

Hi everybody, I am new here, so I will make this as short as I can. I have been married for almost 23 years. I married my High school sweetheart. I have spent half my life with this man. I have 5 children the youngest just turned 1 year. I am pretty sure and have been for awhile that our marriage is over. I am frustrated, no matter how many times I try and talk about something or change anything, it never gets resolved. Oh its gets better for a few weeks, but then it goes back. The sex and intimacy is gone. Having a conversation with him about pretty much anything other than the kids is like talking to a wall. I am pretty much the only one that recognizes my faults and changes them. and it drives me crazy that he dont. I havent had sex in at least 3 months. When I hit on the subject oh I get tons of excuses, dont want to get you pregnant, my T count is low its me not you, but honestly I know he is just not attracted to me anymore, which in turn has ruined my self esteem. And then there is the money. He is a very hard working individu al, always makes money, but has to control it completely. I have to ask to buy pretty much everything, and that gets annoying after awhile. He stopped paying on my personal credit cards and my student loans (went to nursing school, and finished with honors) so I had to file a chapter 13 to stop the harassment and late fee and interest. because I am in a chapter 13 all tax refunds go to them, the tax refund this year went into a separate account that I have no access too. (red flag) last year he filed a tax return and forged my name to it, this year the same thing, only I knew about it prior this year. I feel like I am just the nanny,cook, and maid. No respect is ever given, I am just the roommate. Spending his money raising our kids. and now he has walked away from the family business to work for another company which gave him a large percentage of the company if the company sells. Well the company is selling, and he stands to get 1.2 million.. So walking away from that to me is incredibly stupid, but at the same time I am so unhappy and have been for so many years. I am not sure what to do. Do I chance it and hope the courts award me half and I am financially ok to raise my children or am I going to struggle to feed them while he has a pocket full of money.. The fear is overwhelming and so is the loneliness. Not sure what to do..anybody have any advice?

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