Hi, I haven't been here for a while. I guess that was a good thing as this is the only place I have to really talk about things candidly :frown2: I want to thank everyone who has helped me and hope some of you can respond to this too.
Tonight my husband and I had a big fight. As some of you know in the past he has hurt my feelings by talking about actresses in a very vulgar way while I was in earshot. It shocked me and we had a big fight. Anyways he apoligized but our trust has been broken ever since the first fight and I have had major trust issues with him even in the past (his bachelor party).
I know he is not a cheater nor has be cheated but I have terrible self esteem and he always seems to be making it worst. I have gained considerble weight since the last year as well so I have body image issues too. He told me today that having sex with me is like a chore. That he doesnt even like it and thats why he always asks for a handjob. That really made me feel very bad. Do you think he crossed the line into territory that he shouldn't be allowed to come out of. Do you think I will be too lenient if I forgive him for saying all this to me?
It all started when he and I were watching TV and that b.itch actress came up. I told him he must be happy she is on and he got mad saying I always use that against him. I get all riled up and said dont you remember you said this that about her and he got mad. I went to far I know but its not like I told him anything nasty about his body or his worth. We got into an argument. I said that she wont want him even if he did and he didnt have a chance anyway...Then he started saying yeah well he can still talk about her with his friends and jerk to her!!!!!!!!:mad:
I called him a sleasebag and just stood up and left after that. He starts arguing and so do I Then I go to get my laptop and he pushes it out of my hand into the floor. We get aggressive after that, I throw some stuff and he takes my phone etc. (NO VIOLENCE AT EACH OTHER). Then he says how having sex with me is like a chore that he doesnt even like it (...as in fill in blank cause I gained weight) and why do you think I always ask you for a handjob!!!!
I can't believe it. I am so mad and hurt right now. He thinks its all my fault cause I started it and he says I insult and accuse him and use it as a weapon against him. His excuse is that cause I called him a sleazebag he gets to say Im unattractive and he doesnt want any when he knows I am sensitive about myweight. I only called him a sleasebag after he said he wants to talk about her and jerk on her when he knows how hurt I was when he talked about her like a horny frat boy with his friends when he is a 30 something year old married man with his wife in the next room at 3 am in the morning at his friends house!! He knows I havent been over it. Not to mention the fact that his bachelor party was a ****show.
How can one go above this and have happy thoughts again. I cannot trust mhim 100 percent to not say anything about women. When he sees women in the gym I doubt if he really stopped talking about women with his friends..or when he see actresses in the tv or her on tv in a raunchy movie he gets all lustful in his eye and I can see him getting into the movie which really BUGS ME. He wont even stop watching it for me when he knws I get all riled up. I mean he made me this way. I wasnt like this. He made me not trust him and he lied to me about his bachelor party. I dont know how to increas emy confidence and be happy anymore. I dont even want to loose weight cause if he lusts after me again its like I gave him what he wanted a thin wife to lust after and I am only getting my confidence back and believing him when he says I am beautiful because I got thin. I want a man I can trust to love me and always think I am beautiful even if I am fat. To love me deeply for me. And I guess wh at he wants is a wife who can trust him and not be accusatory to him or think he is lusting after women when HE THINKs he is just being a man and being normal. I dont know the solution to all this.
Anyways, thanks for reading who ever did get through all this ranting. Do you think he crossed the line into territory that he shouldn't be allowed to come out of. Do you think I will be too lenient if I forgive him for saying all this to me?
Tonight my husband and I had a big fight. As some of you know in the past he has hurt my feelings by talking about actresses in a very vulgar way while I was in earshot. It shocked me and we had a big fight. Anyways he apoligized but our trust has been broken ever since the first fight and I have had major trust issues with him even in the past (his bachelor party).
I know he is not a cheater nor has be cheated but I have terrible self esteem and he always seems to be making it worst. I have gained considerble weight since the last year as well so I have body image issues too. He told me today that having sex with me is like a chore. That he doesnt even like it and thats why he always asks for a handjob. That really made me feel very bad. Do you think he crossed the line into territory that he shouldn't be allowed to come out of. Do you think I will be too lenient if I forgive him for saying all this to me?
It all started when he and I were watching TV and that b.itch actress came up. I told him he must be happy she is on and he got mad saying I always use that against him. I get all riled up and said dont you remember you said this that about her and he got mad. I went to far I know but its not like I told him anything nasty about his body or his worth. We got into an argument. I said that she wont want him even if he did and he didnt have a chance anyway...Then he started saying yeah well he can still talk about her with his friends and jerk to her!!!!!!!!:mad:
I called him a sleasebag and just stood up and left after that. He starts arguing and so do I Then I go to get my laptop and he pushes it out of my hand into the floor. We get aggressive after that, I throw some stuff and he takes my phone etc. (NO VIOLENCE AT EACH OTHER). Then he says how having sex with me is like a chore that he doesnt even like it (...as in fill in blank cause I gained weight) and why do you think I always ask you for a handjob!!!!
I can't believe it. I am so mad and hurt right now. He thinks its all my fault cause I started it and he says I insult and accuse him and use it as a weapon against him. His excuse is that cause I called him a sleazebag he gets to say Im unattractive and he doesnt want any when he knows I am sensitive about myweight. I only called him a sleasebag after he said he wants to talk about her and jerk on her when he knows how hurt I was when he talked about her like a horny frat boy with his friends when he is a 30 something year old married man with his wife in the next room at 3 am in the morning at his friends house!! He knows I havent been over it. Not to mention the fact that his bachelor party was a ****show.
How can one go above this and have happy thoughts again. I cannot trust mhim 100 percent to not say anything about women. When he sees women in the gym I doubt if he really stopped talking about women with his friends..or when he see actresses in the tv or her on tv in a raunchy movie he gets all lustful in his eye and I can see him getting into the movie which really BUGS ME. He wont even stop watching it for me when he knws I get all riled up. I mean he made me this way. I wasnt like this. He made me not trust him and he lied to me about his bachelor party. I dont know how to increas emy confidence and be happy anymore. I dont even want to loose weight cause if he lusts after me again its like I gave him what he wanted a thin wife to lust after and I am only getting my confidence back and believing him when he says I am beautiful because I got thin. I want a man I can trust to love me and always think I am beautiful even if I am fat. To love me deeply for me. And I guess wh at he wants is a wife who can trust him and not be accusatory to him or think he is lusting after women when HE THINKs he is just being a man and being normal. I dont know the solution to all this.
Anyways, thanks for reading who ever did get through all this ranting. Do you think he crossed the line into territory that he shouldn't be allowed to come out of. Do you think I will be too lenient if I forgive him for saying all this to me?
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