It's been three months since finalization. If you want to know my whole sordid sob story hunt for my old threads: Bye-Bye Marriage and Joining The Club.
Basically, my marriage had a prolonged demise not unlike the dance of death in Swan Lake. I tried and yet it still died. I was a "nice guy", she was damaged, she wanted out, had affairs...etc...game over.
Three months later, and I am picking up the pieces. My local Divorce Care group compares it to cleaning up after a tornado devastation. Major cancer treatment also added more destruction across the board in my life...so with the divorce occurring during my recovery period, things have been overwhelming.
Fortunately, I have been moving forward a bit at a time. Getting involved into things I enjoy...lots of volunteering. Two years since my diagnosis, I haven't worked...but I walked into the doors of my former employer on Tuesday and today, I just got hired. It is a job of limited duty compared to my last position, but I specifically aimed it this way to get back into the momentum. Still after a health event, bankruptcy, and divorce...it is daunting.
Even more daunting is the reality of contending with new relationships. I had been married 18 years...and I'll admit I'm not bad looking and am a pleasant person...yet being married helped keep the women at a distance. I don't have that anymore...and I am already very keen to how careful I have to be not to give anyone the wrong impression...as I have had difficulty this summer setting boundaries with someone who has feelings that I don't reciprocate (no...I did not have sex with her).
The idea of getting into a relationship still freaks me out...like major anxiety. I know I'm far from ready...and I don't care if I'll ever be. Still, getting back into the workplace will be a confidence builder for me...as two years' time had been slowly chipping away at my esteem. But my energy is back and I think I am ready to rejoin life.
Basically, my marriage had a prolonged demise not unlike the dance of death in Swan Lake. I tried and yet it still died. I was a "nice guy", she was damaged, she wanted out, had affairs...etc...game over.
Three months later, and I am picking up the pieces. My local Divorce Care group compares it to cleaning up after a tornado devastation. Major cancer treatment also added more destruction across the board in my life...so with the divorce occurring during my recovery period, things have been overwhelming.
Fortunately, I have been moving forward a bit at a time. Getting involved into things I enjoy...lots of volunteering. Two years since my diagnosis, I haven't worked...but I walked into the doors of my former employer on Tuesday and today, I just got hired. It is a job of limited duty compared to my last position, but I specifically aimed it this way to get back into the momentum. Still after a health event, bankruptcy, and divorce...it is daunting.
Even more daunting is the reality of contending with new relationships. I had been married 18 years...and I'll admit I'm not bad looking and am a pleasant person...yet being married helped keep the women at a distance. I don't have that anymore...and I am already very keen to how careful I have to be not to give anyone the wrong impression...as I have had difficulty this summer setting boundaries with someone who has feelings that I don't reciprocate (no...I did not have sex with her).
The idea of getting into a relationship still freaks me out...like major anxiety. I know I'm far from ready...and I don't care if I'll ever be. Still, getting back into the workplace will be a confidence builder for me...as two years' time had been slowly chipping away at my esteem. But my energy is back and I think I am ready to rejoin life.
Put the internet to work for you.
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