We've been together about 9 months and for the past couple of months he's not wanted any kind of intimacy - not even kissing, and I've had to ask him to cuddle me. From around mid-July he was revising for re-takes that he was sitting in August. That was when he first lost his sex drive. I could understand that he was stressed so I tried my best to just give him his space and to support him with his studies where I could.
However, even after he had finished his exams, and received his results (he passed, and can go into his second year at uni), he still keeps rejecting sex. He used to be in the mood for it constantly and he said he's never felt like this before, so I keep feeling as though he doesn't find me attractive. He said that he still fancies me and wants to be with me but he only compliments me when I say that I'm upset about the current situation. What's more, he always gets really defensive and I'm upset that he hasn't made any effort at all to please me sexually in other ways, even if he doesn't want to sleep with me.
I also know that he's still watching porn on his own several times a week. I don't care if guys watch it at all, but it's just when he won't show me any intimacy that it's upsetting. I'm just fed up of feeling unwanted all the time, and I've mentioned this to him several times - he just gets defensive or sits there in complete silence when I'm crying and upset. I get that men don't want sex all the time, but I've still tried to please him in the past, even when I'm not in the mood, or at least made it clear that I still find him attractive. I'm also not a prude in bed or just lay there and not do anything - so I feel that I do make an effort.
I'm tired of feeling unwanted, especially when I know that there are other guys out there who wouldn't take me for granted and who don't hesitate to say that I'm beautiful, or whatever. I'm happy with him in other respects but the most awkward aspect of leaving him is that I'm living with him at uni (I didn't plan it, but we got together a while after we signed the house). I feel upset a lot of the time about it and it hurts that he doesn't seem to care - even just a small thing like a compliment would make the situation a lot better (which again I have said, but he just won't see) - so I'm not sure whether I'm best of just packing him in and saving myself the arguments about it
Put the internet to work for you.
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