This is my first time posting publicly about my concerns, or even maritial problems. My husband and I have been married for just about 2 years. When we met we both drank, and loved going clubbing etc. But after getting married we promised to slow down. I must say I am really impressed with myself as I kept my end of the promise (I'm an occassional drinker).
Unfortunately, I have learned to accept, and made "peace" that H is an alcoholic in denial, or at least headed that way. H drinks every Thursday, Friday, Saturday and sometimes Sundays, I guess I should take some responsibility as I knew before getting married H has this problem, never-the-less H kept me laughing. I understand that men like women each have a certain way of blowing off steam, but recently H's behaviour has become abusive (emotionally).
H has cheated in the past (probably still is with his exes). H abuses me emotionally, mentally, H conpares me on every occassion with the baby Momma, every argument we have ...its though H thinks I'm the x, I am being held accountable for another womans sins. I can't talk to H without H telling me its all my fault, I can't discuss anything with H.
Writing about it is exhausting, thinking about it just darkens my inner. For the past 3 years I feel like I'm the monster, H is such a manipulater, a passive aggressive. I've walked out several times, and everytime H comes crying I crawl right back because of the guilt H has burdened me, always uses God as the scape goat.
I am despondent, I've become this depressed, scared, all-fearing woman all because I have allowed a man that breaks promises, that humilates, that lies, that cheats, and disrespects me to control my future that God our Creator has so graciously paved out for me, yet I still depend on my own understanding.
Thank You in advance Posted via Mobile Device Posted via Mobile Device