Search blog and web

In Denial

This is my first time posting publicly about my concerns, or even maritial problems. My husband and I have been married for just about 2 years. When we met we both drank, and loved going clubbing etc. But after getting married we promised to slow down. I must say I am really impressed with myself as I kept my end of the promise (I'm an occassional drinker).

Unfortunately, I have learned to accept, and made "peace" that H is an alcoholic in denial, or at least headed that way. H drinks every Thursday, Friday, Saturday and sometimes Sundays, I guess I should take some responsibility as I knew before getting married H has this problem, never-the-less H kept me laughing. I understand that men like women each have a certain way of blowing off steam, but recently H's behaviour has become abusive (emotionally).

H has cheated in the past (probably still is with his exes). H abuses me emotionally, mentally, H conpares me on every occassion with the baby Momma, every argument we have ...its though H thinks I'm the x, I am being held accountable for another womans sins. I can't talk to H without H telling me its all my fault, I can't discuss anything with H.

Writing about it is exhausting, thinking about it just darkens my inner. For the past 3 years I feel like I'm the monster, H is such a manipulater, a passive aggressive. I've walked out several times, and everytime H comes crying I crawl right back because of the guilt H has burdened me, always uses God as the scape goat.

I am despondent, I've become this depressed, scared, all-fearing woman all because I have allowed a man that breaks promises, that humilates, that lies, that cheats, and disrespects me to control my future that God our Creator has so graciously paved out for me, yet I still depend on my own understanding.

Advice welcome.

Thank You in advance
Posted via Mobile Device
Posted via Mobile Device


Put the internet to work for you.

Turn off or edit this Recipe

No comments:

Post a Comment