Hello, this is my first post here and obviously I'm a lost man or I wouldn't be here. I am a 37 year old man and I've been married to my 40 year old wife for 10 years. We have two beautiful little girls aged 10 and 6. My wife and I date for about a year and a half before she got pregnant with our first daughter. I asked her to marry me and 3 months later we were parents. Obviously our relationship was built on sand and not on a firm foundation.
Fast forward, my wife recently dropped the bomb on me, I love you but I'm not in love with you. Now up to this point she had voiced her complaints. I had gained a bunch of weight due to quoting smoking and moving to midnight shift. I'm not the handiest guy around the house but fortunately I make pretty good money to be able to hire someone to do the work for me. Of course my wife sees me as weak beacuase I'm not her Dad, who was a great man (he died several years ago)
I snooped into her journal (I was scared and heartbroken) she said she doesn't see a future with me more or less. Since the bomb has dropped I have realized what sacrificial love is. I pulled out of the depression I was in due to the weight gain and my work schedule. I started working out (about three and a half weeks ago now) and have lost 17 pounds. Down to 233 from 250 but I'm tall and wear the weight fairly well, it's not all in my belly.
I want desperately to save my marriage, for my children and for my wife and I. As it stand right now we have agreed to not move out of our house and take the the next year to work on our selves and see where we stand. She initially said she would notwork on our marriage but agree to go to a one day marriage session our church is doing this Saturday. Some of the things she says and does seem like she does them just to hurt me. I don't think she is having an affair but I wonder if she has found someone else that fulfills the emotional void she currently has.
Is it possible that she hasn't left yet because she has a sliver of hope that we might salvage something? I'm working very hard to become a well rounded man, unfortunately I didn't have the best role models growing up and most of my adult hood has been like feeling around in the dark. I'm not perfect. I will say that I'm not addicted to drugs, I'm hard working at my job, i am a very good father to our children and I am very involved in our church. I just wish she would be willing to try one more time to save marriage. We have a good life, other than the deficits in our marriage.
What can I do? I'm trying to be positive around her and my kids but i am dying inside.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post
God Bless
HIH
Fast forward, my wife recently dropped the bomb on me, I love you but I'm not in love with you. Now up to this point she had voiced her complaints. I had gained a bunch of weight due to quoting smoking and moving to midnight shift. I'm not the handiest guy around the house but fortunately I make pretty good money to be able to hire someone to do the work for me. Of course my wife sees me as weak beacuase I'm not her Dad, who was a great man (he died several years ago)
I snooped into her journal (I was scared and heartbroken) she said she doesn't see a future with me more or less. Since the bomb has dropped I have realized what sacrificial love is. I pulled out of the depression I was in due to the weight gain and my work schedule. I started working out (about three and a half weeks ago now) and have lost 17 pounds. Down to 233 from 250 but I'm tall and wear the weight fairly well, it's not all in my belly.
I want desperately to save my marriage, for my children and for my wife and I. As it stand right now we have agreed to not move out of our house and take the the next year to work on our selves and see where we stand. She initially said she would notwork on our marriage but agree to go to a one day marriage session our church is doing this Saturday. Some of the things she says and does seem like she does them just to hurt me. I don't think she is having an affair but I wonder if she has found someone else that fulfills the emotional void she currently has.
Is it possible that she hasn't left yet because she has a sliver of hope that we might salvage something? I'm working very hard to become a well rounded man, unfortunately I didn't have the best role models growing up and most of my adult hood has been like feeling around in the dark. I'm not perfect. I will say that I'm not addicted to drugs, I'm hard working at my job, i am a very good father to our children and I am very involved in our church. I just wish she would be willing to try one more time to save marriage. We have a good life, other than the deficits in our marriage.
What can I do? I'm trying to be positive around her and my kids but i am dying inside.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post
God Bless
HIH
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