The main reason is, long story short, we bring out the worst in ourselves when we are together.
I have mentioned before I feel lonely, don't get enough or good quality sex, I have nobody to talk to, I am isolated in the country side of a country it is not my own and sometimes a week will go by without me going out even to the porch due the hot weather but when there is an excuse to go somewhere like buying something he leaves either alone or takes our child.
I feel like a rabbid crazy dog with cabin fever who has been pushed into a corner at this point and from what I've read here he is passive-agressive. I have a temper but it takes a lot to find it, with all this stress is not so hard anymore I suppose.
Yesterday I snapped after an incident. I probably blew it out of proportion but the fact is, until this morning I was upset because it involved our child and figured it was the main issue. Since our little guy did not get hurt or traumatized for life probably... I guess hubby is right to think his priorities are correct and the biggest issue is that I hurt him.
I said something hurtful but I also pushed him which I remember (he is a big guy so I knew that wouldn't do much) but apparently I also scratched him, which I remember having the intent of while I desperately tried to calm myself down in the restroom doing beauty stuff and try to keep our little one distracted until we could talk. Hubby walked in 2 minutes after the incident so needless to say I had no time to calm down, I am not making excuses, just making it clear I don't remember doing it and I was literally blinded by rage and I haven't seen the scratch.
:crying:
Have I turned into an abusive person? is it disturbing that while I am sorry we've come to this, looking back it makes sense that I did? don't prisoners in the solitary go crazy if left there too long? is it even humane how he treats me? is there a way to work things out or did it go too far and it's finally over?
I have mentioned before I feel lonely, don't get enough or good quality sex, I have nobody to talk to, I am isolated in the country side of a country it is not my own and sometimes a week will go by without me going out even to the porch due the hot weather but when there is an excuse to go somewhere like buying something he leaves either alone or takes our child.
I feel like a rabbid crazy dog with cabin fever who has been pushed into a corner at this point and from what I've read here he is passive-agressive. I have a temper but it takes a lot to find it, with all this stress is not so hard anymore I suppose.
Yesterday I snapped after an incident. I probably blew it out of proportion but the fact is, until this morning I was upset because it involved our child and figured it was the main issue. Since our little guy did not get hurt or traumatized for life probably... I guess hubby is right to think his priorities are correct and the biggest issue is that I hurt him.
I said something hurtful but I also pushed him which I remember (he is a big guy so I knew that wouldn't do much) but apparently I also scratched him, which I remember having the intent of while I desperately tried to calm myself down in the restroom doing beauty stuff and try to keep our little one distracted until we could talk. Hubby walked in 2 minutes after the incident so needless to say I had no time to calm down, I am not making excuses, just making it clear I don't remember doing it and I was literally blinded by rage and I haven't seen the scratch.
:crying:
Have I turned into an abusive person? is it disturbing that while I am sorry we've come to this, looking back it makes sense that I did? don't prisoners in the solitary go crazy if left there too long? is it even humane how he treats me? is there a way to work things out or did it go too far and it's finally over?
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