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blamed for all

I am frustrated with my marriage of 8 years. I have 2 children from previous marriage boy 23, girl 14. My son has had significant mental health and substance abuse issues. He is currently in treatment and am hopeful. My issue is that my husband consistently tells me that I am at fault for my son's issues and tries to tell me it was not my fault....I was just ignorant of how to raise a son. He uses it to try to change my interactions with my daughter by saying you do not want her to turn out like x. She is an honor student...plays 3 instruments and is an all around good kid. I do not know how to get through to him how hurtful it is as a parent to have a child have problems and you blame yourself enough without significant other blaming you. Am I wrong to feel hurt when this is used with every disagreement?

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